Monday, January 26, 2009

Advice

What would you tell your younger self?

I was blog surfing - going from one blog to the next - clicking on pictures of followers and then clicking of pictures of their followers. It was fun to see all the different blogs and topics, as well as the vast locations across the world. I ended up on one particular blog. This girl is around 21 years old. She was spilling out a drama that only a young 20's woman can - men, friends, dating, disasters.... at the end she was wondering where to meet men other than a bar. I left a comment. As I was about to leave this comment I realized my 21 year old self would slap my 35 year old self for the advice I was about to give. I told her to go to a church and sit in on their singles or young professionals/college group (what ever the church called it). Or, go to some community ed classes - cooking, photography, a class where guys might also attend.

So, all of this left me thinking last night. What would I tell MYSELF? What would I tell my 21 year old self now that I am 35? (Man I was bar tending then and I thought the 30 somethings were soooo old!) I asked myself, my dearest, and my friends.... This is what we came up with

Myself -
~Figure out a way to go for the guy and finish school
~Doctors don't know everything
~You know yourself better than anyone else does
~Don't play hard to get, be so busy you are hard to get
~Your boyfriend's friends should not be your friends
~Have adventures now - it will be harder later
~Learn more - about more
~If your car can get you there - go, don't sit home
~Ask people to do things, stop waiting for an invite
~You won't wear that sweater in 6 months,but, if you charge it you will still be paying for it then
~If you think you can't afford to do things now, wait until you have a mortgage and kids
~Show off your body a little more, kids will ruin any chance of a bikini later
~Going out with friends needs to be just as important as going out with "the" one (guy)
~There will be another guy. He will be better and you will eventually shake your head at the last.

My dearest (Who had less time to think)
~Don't drink so much beer
~Work out more
~Have it in your mind that your wife should stay home with your kids
~Save money while you can
~Don't use credit cards unless you can pay them off
~Do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do
Mom, don't read this next one...
~Have sex now (yeah, he said it!)

A survey of friends
~ Don't care so much about what other people think
~ Do the things that you enjoy, stop trying to please other people
~ Enjoy spontaneity and live as much as you can.
Go as many places and see as many things as you can
~ You don't know what busy is - take advantage of your free time

While interviewing friends I was told there is a song that is called Letter To Me by Brad Paisley that was fitting for this post. I agree.


What is the advice you would give to your younger self? Think about it and then leave me a comment please.

13 comments:

Adam said...

Loved this post!

Here is what I would tell me!

-It may suck right now, but trust me, it gets better as long as you work for it
-Look forward and don't look back
-There is something called a savings account, use it. Live like a bum, so when you have $ in the bank, you can stop renting
-have fun

Jen said...

Great post! My advice to my younger self:
Don't rush to grow up! Life goes by so fast!

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

I just turned thirty a couple of weeks ago and had thought a lot about this topic. I would tell my younger self that it is okay to say no when someone asks you to do something you a. don't want to do, b. don't have time to do or c. would not be good at.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Anonymous said...

Listen to your mom more, I am sure she told you most of these things when you thought she was too old to know or was just keeping you from having fun.

Bill Stankus said...

Being older than everyone else leaving a comment I have a slightly different view.

Adams's onto something about the savings account... save and buy property ASAP.

Life may seem to go fast when you're young but it goes even faster when you're older. Add to that, with age you are juggling too much and your body is becoming like an old car - something that is dented and needs constant maintenance.

Set a goal - wealth, security, whatever, possibly by the age of 50. After that it's simply a gamble while holding on while stuff happens to you.

If in college, go ahead and take those English lit and art classes but also take some business classes - or learn a trade. We still are a practical culture.

If a group is doing something - whatever it is - don't do it yourself. The group thing is over rated - take care of yourself first and foremost. In a few years you won't even remember the names of people in that group.

Be careful about revealing personal information - you might think your friends are true blue - but the chances of them using that info against you is always a possibility.

Travel, gather experiences... who knows, those experiences could be the material for your great novel.

Don't be preoccupied about having a relationship, that stuff happens regardless of age, time or place.

If you are preoccupied with clothes, pop culture stuff or fads, consider this - it is all disposable.

When stressing out over boys/girls. saturday night, driving a unstylish car, etc... just remember, your older self will be looking back at you, the younger self, and saying, "What a doofus I was".

Starlene said...

Well...

-Every time you meet a guy and think you're falling in love...your NOT

-If you're sick of your friends' drama, then just end the friendships.

-Save your oodles of money! It will soon be gone if you don't!

-Every time you get upset, it is NOT the end of the world.

-Even though you think your emotions control you, they don't.

-You can change your emotions by changing your thoughts.

-You can change your thoughts by changing your friends, your environment, what you watch, what you read, what you converse about.

-You need to be balanced but that requires your participation and certainly your effort.

Although no one told me any of these things, I figured them out anyway. I'm pretty content with it all. : )

Fawn said...

glad to be your blog friend Julie!! your page really looks awesome, wow!
how do you have time to do everything??!!

Caroline said...

I love this! Gosh, what would I tell my younger self? I guess, I would say...stop worrying so much! And stop worrying about what others think of you. Be your own person.

It's Just Me said...

Thank you everyone for playing along! Your answers are great. I suppose that "life lessons" are just that - things we need to experience to learn. Aren't we glad we have continued to grow and learn.

Alisa said...

Hi Julie,
Wow, great advice from everyone... much of it I wish I had had when I was younger.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. It's always nice to have a new visitor.

I haven't cut the velvet out of my son's shirt.... yet.
;)

Maggie May said...

what a great post!
'doctors don't know everything'
very important and true.

Boutique By Bonnie said...

Take more risks and don't be be afraid to make a mistake. Be your own advocate. It's not okay to eat junk. Find a job you love, not one that is safe.

jaykbee said...

I'd tell myself to date around before settling down and when you're finally ready to settle down, go for a guy who has finished his degree with flying colors, not a college drop out who can't finish what he starts.

Oh, and the first time a bf makes you feel bad about yourself, dump him.