Monday, March 22, 2010

But, I'm not wearing any underwear!!!!

Amy is back, and she has a funny story for us this time. However, today it isn't about the gym she owns, no it is about her visit to Urgent Care:

I have been sick for four days now – yes four. We are talking fever, aches, upset stomach, dizzy and worst of all a sore throat. Finally deciding it was not going to go away I decided to make a “quick” visit to the Urgent Care Clinic this morning before work. Now I use “” around quick because you would have to be certifiably looney in the toons to think that on Monday anything about Urgent Care would be quick.

I drove into the parking lot 10 minutes before the clinic opened, thinking this would be suitable enough to get me out in plenty of time to make it to work. As I sat in my car I started getting that panic feeling in my gut – you know the one you get when you are about to get out of your car early Friday morning for the after Thanksgiving Black Friday sale? My eyes are darting back and forth between the clock, the parked cars and the ones rolling in – one hand is at the ready on the door handle. Finally with 5 minutes left till go time, someone makes a move. It was like a chain reaction of panic with doors flying open and people do that stupid run/walk (you know what I am talking about – that cross between a run and walk that people use when they are mid street and the little red hand comes up telling you it is NOT safe to cross the street, and you don’t want to look like a fool running, but you know time is running out so you do the run/walk – lets just call it a rulk). Anyway people are rulking up to the door, and of course even though there is a clear line formed at the door, people decide they are going to stand off to the side of the line and just cut it. So finally the doors open and we all rush forward like the walking dead towards the reception desk.

I get my place in the line up and go sit down to start the waiting (and watching) game. So all of these people are lined up at one reception desk waiting like cattle, when low and behold a receptionist at the other end of the building calls “I can help someone down here.” So this Dad takes his little boys hand and starts to walk over, when this older lady tries to do some type of football maneuver around them to get there first – tripping the poor kid in the process. Then of course I end up between the fighting couple and the woman with volume control syndrome who is having a very personal conversation on her cell phone. What else could I do but sit and pray for it all to be over soon. Thankfully, as I was visualizing grabbing the phone and walking over to the front doors to chuck it outside, I get called back. You would think my story would end here….


Unfortunately no. So I get checked out by the doctor and find out that aside from the nasal congestion/flu crud that has been making the rounds, I have strep – my third case in the last two months. I get the great news that she is going to have the nurse come in and give me a shot of antibiotics, no messing around with pills this time. Well, aside from the fact that I really hate shots, I could not come up with a good enough excuse to convince her otherwise – plus I can’t swallow pills anyway. The nurse comes in and I start to roll up my sleeve, only to be informed that this shot doesn’t go in your arm – it goes in your thigh. Well great! She asks me to pull down my pants and sit on the table. At this point I get the a case of the giggles as I explain to her that with being sick all weekend I didn’t really get a chance to do laundry so ummmmm I’m not wearing any underwear. And that is how I started my morning.

20 comments:

Just Jules said...

and so began my day too, as I got to hear this story first thing. thank goodness i wasn't drinking any coffee then. but to hear it in Amy's squeak of a voice was brilliant (due to the strep)

Deb said...

Do you hear your mother's voice in your head too? Always wear clean underwear, what if you get in an accident! Too funny! Hope Amy feels better fast!

Brittney said...

RULK hahaha i love that I could soooo picture what you were talking about!!!

Jana said...

Oops, I guess there would be no chance of your being caught with your pants down then…so you were going commando…do you remember this term from ''Friends’’?.

Greg said...

Too funny, thanks for the laugh. Hope you feel better

Southern Sage said...

Bwhahahahhaa

Amy needs a blog!

Amy was the nurse hot? That is important!

Since I don't own any unders I always prefer a hot nurse.

Vicky said...

So funny! Glad you popped up in my fb news feed, I needed exactly that kind of laugh!

Anonymous said...

Sage the nurse was sizzlin' hot and btw isn't that a little uncomfortable when you wear jeans or do you wear chaps and a holster in the front for support?

Southern Sage said...

Roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hot nurses are sent from heaven! No @ uncomfy, its all good best I can tell, no callouses or nothing! I do have a holster though, that is more for the stress it puts on my back if its just left un-contained!

Anonymous said...

I think I may have scared a few of the ladies at the gym from my sudden fits of hysterical laughter. I'm glad there are no callouses Sage.

Southern Sage said...

Well see I know you might know this but I am on the road a lot alone so it could be the liberal amounts of complimentary lotion I apply!

~Kenny said...

See if I was your doctor and you said that I would then be forced to switch to the more potent shot of Keniscillin! :-D

Just Jules said...

Deb - I think one pees their pants in an accident anyway - no worries on them being clean!

Brittney - rulk... it is the word all the cool kids are using (now)

jana - commando - good thing for sick days, unless you get caught!

greg - she entertains me often with these sort of "only happen to her" types of stories

sage - she had a blog for awhile....

Vicky -glad you got a laugh, how is the flooding?

The rest to A and Sage - oh man... where to begin?? smoking hot nurses, no "unders", holsters and lotion.... I got nothing. Best to just shut my mouth and just watch!

Secretia said...

I always keep an emergency complete change of clothes in my car-comes in handy sometimes!

Secretia

Anonymous said...

LOL - a shot of Keniscillen! I bet that cures many an illness.

Sage - in regards to the lotion, it sounds like it might not stay in the holster it must be so slick from the liberal amounts of lotion - but I now wonder if the callous comment may have been a lie...

Southern Sage said...

JJ: hold the camera and keep it still, we might need a recd of this!

Amy: No you misunderstood me I reckon. You keep ummmmmmmmmm ummmmm massaging the lotion until it is all used so the slickness isn't a problem! See what you do it this........

Just Jules said...

My mom is gonna roll over....

Southern Sage said...

*waves* Hi Julies Mom!!!

Anonymous said...

Honestly Sage I am laughing to hard to formulate a witty response. Between the lotion and the callousses it must be a tricky situation you got going on down there. There must be some smoking hot nurse helpline you can call to get a remedy for that.

Southern Sage said...

Hehehehehehe

The problem is hot nurses don't like me that good!

Go figure!

Ok well it was fun playing with you today. We have hijacked the Julesters blog!

But I did wave to her momma so its all good!