Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Another round of - UltraBitch (aka What I Meant To Say)




To the lady at the flower shoppe - when I said I would love to come and work here next year when my youngest goes to school.

WIMTS - I REALLY want a job here cuz you guys are so cool and you bring your dogs to work and you listen to great music and everyone that works here is beautiful with great hair. you wear fabulous skirts and boots and I just really want to work here. plus you get to work with flowers! hello!

To my youngest son - when I told you not to say that.... "you are annoying me" to that lady, because it was rude

WIMTS
- The is friggin funny, and I am trying really hard not to laugh at you because that would give you the wrong impression. Because you, as a 5 year old, really shouldn't talk that way - but you are right she REALLY was annoying!

To my body- When I said let's go snowshoeing

WIMTS- I am going to trick you back into shape by walking in the woods looking at pretty things and taking pictures - what you don't know is how damn hard it is to walk in snow with snowshoes on. That's right butt you are getting firmed up and don't even know it - ha! so there!

To anyone I have not returned a phone call or email to: I am fine, do not call the police or search dogs out. I am alive and well.

WIMTS- Checking emails and phone messages seems a bit daunting right now. I see your name there in my inbox... take a number and wait please. I will be with you as soon as the sun shines and my overwhelmed with life feeling goes away.

To my hubby- when I said I am not really sure where last years orders are for our business, but I will look

WIMTS - I don't know where the hell you threw them, find them your own damn self. But of course in your hunting for them you would make a huge mess so never bleeping mind I will do it myself! love you dear ;)

19 comments:

Epiphius said...

I started one for my hubs too that was similar! Then I deleted it because I wasn't up for it today!

~Kaydee~ said...

awesome post! Isn't it unfair how we have to be parents instead of laughing our butts off?

McGillicutty said...

You know sometimes i let the kids know they are right but it's just not socially acceptable to say it out loud....it's like our secret!!!!
I'm probably a really bad parent..
Love the one about the flower shop but you didn't ought to gush too much if they're that cool.. I think you have an in there!!!!

ShellSpann said...

LOL love the one to your husband! :)

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Hahahaha....and the pictures go so well with your WIMTS posts. :)

Chief said...

let the kid speak his mind... he may turn out to be as great as Aunt Chief!

PS I would love to bring my dogs to work

Will Burke said...

Love the premise! Better dogs than cats; I love my cats, but they'd eat the merchendise, then throw it up on the floor. I tagged you on my post, check it out!

Big Blue House said...

Where do you find all those 'finger' pictures? I love that your son said "stop annoying me" to someone else besides me!!! Love that child. I hope you get the flower shop job, you would love it there with the flowers but maybe the cool dressed ladies don't have such cool personalities.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I feel some hostility here???

Do you want to work there for the dogs? or the nice hair and flowers... I'm confused ;)

Steven Anthony said...

your five yr old cracked me up, seriously snorted tea right out my nose;)

math guy, dock guy said...

I'm Jules husband -
Boy I was going to respond with my own WIMTS back at you but WIWS (what I will say) is "Love you too, DEAR!"

Just Jules said...

hahahaa! I love when you comment on here my dear sweet hubby... lovin you too, even when you can't find crap that was yours to put away in the first place - like your keys. (cue drums)BA DUM DUM

Southern Sage said...

Math dooood????
Whiskey tango foxtrot!!! Don't allow that backtalk!!! Dang man give em an inch and next thing you know they want equal rights and to vote and such! I say they are to be bred n barefoot, seen and not heard! Demand obedience up there! Sheeesh.

Now get her in there to filing and while she's at it she needs to make some noise with them pots and pans, supper is to be served @6 and no later! And later when she gets done with the kids homework and gets the house cleand...

Sage

Kmama said...

Kids are so brutally honest. SOmetimes I love it when my 5 y.o. spouts off because he's saying exactly what I want to say, but can't!

Just Jules said...

Sage... I vote, but I am sure to ask hubby which people to mark down first - since the man surely knows best. I have been barefoot for years and pregnant for 6 consecutive years I did my time as a breeding machine.

I best untie my apron so I can get down to the file cabinet and set those papers straight. But first I have to finish supper now that the kid's homework is done and their chores are checked by me. I will then be sure to touch up my make up and straighten my skirt before hubby gets home so I can look my best as I then become the hot thing he needs in the bedroom.... do I have it straight and right now?

*I think I just threw up a little in my mouth * gagggg*

Amber said...

It would be so fun to work in a flower shop! My aunt and uncle own a closet company and they bring their cute little puppies to work 2! I tend to make up reasons to go visit so i can see the dogs.

Brittney said...

those are great... && The last one I can totally relate too! My hubby will tear the house apart looking for something!!

Southern Sage said...

you are getting there, keep working on it, and didn't you hear the ice cubes jingle in my glass??? Sheeesh whatabout a freakin refill?

Vodka Logic said...

The last one is so common in our house... the fights it has caused.