To:

To the lady in the waiting room of the clinic:
Your perfume stunk.
Not a little - but - I would rather smell a skunk stunk.
Why? Is your nose that coated that you can't even smell yourself anymore?

To the doctor:
Thank you.
Thank you for taking so much time to get to know me.
Yes, I am a medical oddity. Interesting isn't it.
Thank you for saying that the lump I spotted two weeks ago is 100% normal.
Thank you.

To all the patrons at Wal-Mart:
Get out of my way.
This is not a pleasure cruise for me to be there.
I am in a hurry, I only have a few minutes.
Get out of my way.
I ride my cart like a scooter;
it is fun
it is fast
it works (as long as you don't get like a deer in the headlights and panic)
Get out of my way.
I hate the store, I can't wait to get out of there.

To the lady at the stop light:
I can see you.
I can see as you sing.
I can see you pick your nose.
I saw you roll your eyes as you answered your phone.
I can see you;
your windshield is clear- see through.

To the whitetail deer in the woods this weekend:
Live in fear.
My husband and son are coming to kill you.
Hide, but not too well.
My freezer depends on you.
If you have more then 8 points you are theirs.

To the telemarketer:
I know that calling me is your job, I am on your list.
But, when you call, be on the phone at least.
Don't make me wait to hang up on you.

To the guy on the radio:
Shut up.
Quit talking.
I am tuned in to listen to the music,not what you did last night.
It doesn't make you more personal to me.
I just want the music.
So, shut up.

To the news media:
When did you sell out?
When did a celebrity become your lead story?
Do you have to hang on when you report such a slanted view for fear of falling off your chair?

To Google/Blogger:
I still like you.
People have tried to talk me into switching to WordPress.
I am dedicated.
I like your shit.
You are gods.

Throwing Babies Into A Petri Dish

I just returned from "Urgent Care" our town's version of a walk-in clinic. We arrived at 7:25 and waited at the door for the door to open. Insuring that we would be the first ones seen. I wanted to get in and out of there before all the really sick people showed up.


We were there for an unusual red spot that showed up on my son. No fever, cough, runny nose, or other spreadable germs. Simply, a skin thing. Apparently, although the doors open at 7:30 the doctors do not get there until 8:00. Now, I understand the need to get the person in the door, signed in and diagnosed.... however, a half hour?

Moving on, staying focused.......

As we are sitting there the place starts to fill up and the level of germs in the air are steadily increasing. They should hand masks out at the door - and I am not even kind of kidding about this. The hacking and the nose sniffing and the obvious sore throats made my skin crawl. I wished I could have tied my own hands to my sides along with my son's to keep us from touching our eyes, mouths, and noses therefore increasing the likelihood that not only would we leave there with fewer answers than I was hoping for but a bonus gift of a lung hacking cough.

After seeing the doctor, we were sent to the next hallway for labs, then back out into the petri dish of a waiting from to hear the results and be dismissed. By the time we get back out to the petri dish.... I mean lobby there is not a seat to be found, at least not one that wasn't next to a lung hacker. The germs were almost visible in the air, they felt gritty in my mouth. I kept heading down the line of chairs, and waiting areas, until I landed...... where was I? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? In Pediatrics????!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Understand this clinic waiting area is one big open room with groups of chairs and half walls making smaller waiting areas.


Who in their right minds would bring their infant into this facility? There is maybe 100 ft from the "sick" desk and the pediatrics. It truly would be a much quicker process for the doctors to just allow the infants and children to lick the petri dishes, to give them little germ infested biter biscuits, to rub the nipples of their bottles in a used tissue.... what is wrong with this?

I am told by my friend that they are working on changing this, that there will be a sick side and a non-sick side. That the pediatrics is moving to a building with the eye clinic and the dermatologist. However in the mean time? This really is nothing more then a rant, a shout of disbelief, a small triumph that we have been healthy enough to avoid such places, a head shaker...

The skin thing - unknown? a bruise? wait and see.... really?????
To think I had just paid off the clinic bill. sigh......