Monday, October 19, 2009

Laughter is the Best Medicine

With more and more of my family being taken over by this flu/cold virus I have spent the last couple of days playing nurse maid. Since they say laughter is the best medicine.... let's laugh.

Received via e-mail:


1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the o cean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


Bonnie Zieman, M.Ed. said...

These are delightful - and on that note, I will hit the sack with a giggle. Thanks.

Vodka Logic said...

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I found my lifes

Eliane Zimmermann said...

oh yes I love the giant rhubarb too. we have three in our garden but none is more than 8 or 9 feet tall. they are still babies the oldest being almost 9 years old. when we planted it our irish builders were really wondering why somobody would plant a weed (i guess we looked like somebody carefully planting nettles in his garden) the picture in my blog is taken in the local 'bamboo park' which is an amazing djungle of tropical and subtropical plants.

Sandra said...

Enjoyed the laugh!

Marion Williams-Bennett said...

very good! I love...

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Just try harder!

Deb said...

I think I've seen Larry around town....or his relatives. I was looking for a favorite number...they are all pretty darn funny...can certainly relate to #21! Ha!

Anonymous said...

I rarely make people laugh :-) but I am very good at relieving a persons' stress with a comment from "left field" :-)

Chief said...

Wow, these are so Duke aren't they! The obvious logic in them makes the simplicity seem not so stupid. Heh!

Big Blue House said...

I hope these made YOU laugh. With having a sick family, you need it more than I do. Love you and I hope everyone gets better ASAP!