:: I need to :: I will ::

Things, they need to change.

::I need to cut the guilt out.

::I need to figure out where this anxiety is coming from and eliminate it - at least control it.

::I need to remember how much better I feel when I plan and do things outside of the house. (then I need to plan and do things outside of the house)

::I need to continue to find me.

::I need to enjoy my stay at home mom status since it won't last much longer.

::I will go on another trip - somewhere fun, with a friend. That was the best thing I have ever done in my life I think.

::I will get our taxes done ASAP this year.

::I will remember that I am worthy, I will shoot for feeling beautiful more then every once in a great while, and I won't worry about five - seven pounds that comes and goes (more often comes).


::I need to not feel anxious, guilty, or wrong for reading, watching movies, sitting down to a t.v. show or other things that I enjoy. Why have I stopped doing these things? Why do I feel bad when I do them?

::I need to find some patience.

::I need to put my foot down - I am a mom and I have a family. I am an adult. I can decide what we do and when - see point one and two as these then come into play.

::I need to remember things I enjoy, and make time for them - rock climbing, I think I would like snowshoeing, biking, hiking, canoeing, and general outdoor adventure sports. Now, how to do these?

::It is time to clean things out - clutter is getting the best of us.

::I need to get back on a healthy track. I have stopped being vigilante about what we take into our bodies, about our schedules, and our activities. I have been lax in our exposure to certain things etc. This is starting to show in our health and happiness, and general state of well being.

::I need to not call these resolutions, they are just things I have been thinking on. Something to post about today.

::I need to change some things. No time like now.

photos from vi.sualize.us

I Suntan Topless Amongst Other Things

The ever so wonderful Fragrant Muse has tagged me on an award/meme. Since I have my mind set on the beach today, it is a good day not to have to think of a topic.

The rules are simple: I am to tell 10 things about myself that my readers may or may not know, but are true.

1) I like snakes. I didn't used to. I was afraid of them - until college when a house I used to go to had snakes and I started holding them. (what a couple of beers will do for bravery). Picture taken by this blogger.

2) I have body image issues. I think everyone does. I go between feeling like the dorky Jr. Higher and having a pity party over what 5 babes in 5 years did to my front side.

3) I am lazy. I am. I could do so much more with the talents, gifts, and brains I have been given. I am just lazy - welllllllll and busy raising kids ;)

4)I am 5' 8" tall and go between 125-135lbs. (a little winter insolation?) A size 4-6. While I have body image issues I realllly don't think size matters (small or not). Attitude and self care shine through everytime.

5) I suntan topless on my deck in the Spring- HA!!!! there I said it. Yep, I do. I live in the country, we are surrounded by trees. The view is blocked. I crawl (just in case) to the towel and lay there soaking in the Vitamin D after a long winter of sunless days.

6) I am not afraid of very many things but I have discovered I am terrified of 1)horror movies- willl not watch them (2) haunted houses --they are lame, but still (3) muddy bottomed lakes--- like the suck you in up to your calves and not let you go, than suck your shoe into an eternal muddy grave kind of muddy. In conclusion - there better be sand at the bottom of the lake or I ain't goin' in, and I refuse to pay to be scared.

7) I am terrible at changing my kids' sheets. In my defense they are in loft beds and soooo hard to do.



8) Feather pillows - that is it. If I don't have a feather pillow I am not sleeping. Not well anyway. (I think I spilled this on Debra's secrets at Sojourner- but not all of you have made your way over there for tea yet)

9) I don't give my dog a ton of attention but I depend on her to be here on those days and nights that Dearest is gone. It helps me not feel alone. She definetly serves a purpose.

10) I don't use antipersperant/deoderant. Gross? Not anymore. It took about a year to "cleanse" my pores of all the chemical build up. But now I sweat a little but it pretty much doesn't smell - and I use crystal spray to neutralize any odors that may start.

Bonus- I shed. I shed worse then my pomeranian. If you are in a room with me, you will probably walk away with some of my hair on you. I know! I always have. Somehow, I am not bald?

I am to pass this on to 10 bloggers. HMMMMM.... not good at passing it on. But, I will suggest:
1) Coachblogger - I haven't heard from him in awhile
2) Sandra/Worlds End Farm
3) Shelle /Blok Thoughts
4) RxBambi
5) McGillicutty
6) Kaci/NeoPlains Women - get off Facebook and come back to blogging ;)
6) who ever else wants to play along or needs a topic.