Dating profile - to - English Translations

This is worth clicking on to "big it" and taking the time to read. Don't read with a hot beverage in your mouth - you've been warned. I am not responsible for spit coffee on your screen!

Read on:

What I meant to say

What I meant to say... oh this is going to be fun.
(you can find out the particulars by clicking on the $5 link above)

To the guy at the post office who couldn't find my "Delivery Confirmation" package
(which is obviously important, and there for the person paid for such a request....)
What I said was:
"That's o.k. it wasn't your fault it was lost. Call me when you find it."
What I meant to say was:
"Find my freakin' package buddy before I grab you by the collar and shake one out of you. NOW!!!!!"

vi.sualize.us

To the lady at Target whose till rebooted right after my cart FULL of stuff was rung up and I was swiping my overly abused debit card ...
What I said was:
"It's not your fault. Let's just do this together and get it over with" as she re-rung every item again.
What I meant to say was:
"I am going to be LATE to pick my son up from pre-school now and I am going to look like a neglectful parent who will get the stink eye from the teacher because your dang computer puttered out." To Target what I should say is "As much money as the world spends at your store (I alone pay the light bill, I swear) you cold buy new computers!!!! 30 YEARS OLD IS TOO OLD!!!


To my friend who is having issues with a couple of her friends.
I said was:
" You need to be above it all and just sit back and let it alone"
What I meant to say is:
" Those ladies are acting like 13 yr old BITCHES and you are better off without them - run girl run! I haven't cared much for either of them ever... However, I have always loved you. Run!!!!!"

vi.sualize.us

When my husband asked where his clean underwear were (since there weren't any in his drawer)
What I said was
" They are downstairs in the small wicker basket right in front of the dryer dear. Can you get them, or should I run down and grab them for you." even though he sat downstairs and watched me fold laundry as we watched tv together the night before and knew I was working on laundry
What I meant to say is:
"F*ck you *sshole, do your own d*mn laundry and you will know exactly where it is." (please note: hubby suggested this one ;)


Oh I best stop here for this week... but, Ahhh yes people, this is going to be fun.
Every Wednesday morning I will be playing along. You too can join the fun.

Due to this change: I will be delaying our Collaborative Photo Project until Wednesday afternoon/evening time.

Advice to start your year off with

When playing Wii
Knowing you are not in your prime Wii shape
Go slowly.


DO NOT box !
Don't do it.
You ARE NOT Laila Ali.


It is also wise NOT to take out any pent up aggression against your spouse using the Wii boxing game. Because you end up only hurting yourself.

Although, this may seem obvious - do NOT golf, play tennis as though you are Maritna, bowl, and box in the same night, or you will find yourself in a world of hurt the next day.

I am propping my lame, shaking, hurting right arm up just to send this bit of advice for you. My service to you. You can thank me later with a shoulder/back massage.


p.s. if you think I am alone in this - you are so very wrong. There is a whole website related to Wii related injuries. I guess I am lucky that I only hurt myself!!!!!

Bad Costume Idea

Happy Halloween!