Do women ever grow up

I was in my favorite coffee shop this morning. It was busier than normal. Too busy for my taste. I am used to being there during the quite part of the day- to pay my bills, balance my check book, read, etc. It is like my office away from my house (as is it for many)

It was loud today however, too loud for my reading - even with my mp3 player. I gave in and just sat for a moment trying to pick up on the conversations - listen without gawking sort of thing. (you know that, I know you do)

There were three older (70ish) ladies two tables over from me. Listening to their conversation ended up being quite hilarious and a bit eye opening. Their conversation was basically that of a group of thirty year old woman mixed in with some complaints about technology from the one. Honestly, do we as women never grow up and move on from the same gripes? Husbands, kids, family, one was quite hung up on the de-personalization of humanity due to Facebook..... can we not move past the same thing and find something better to talk about? As I said, it was both good for a giggle and eye -opening.

When I am 70(ish) and hopefully able to hang out with my "coffee chickas" I will make it my goal to bring up interesting things to talk about.... a bit more philosophical. I will try to get my group to use their experience and wisdom to pull out a decent conversation.... like-> do you think that major events (births, deaths, tragedies, etc) define us as a person? make us who we are?

However, I probably will just be bitching about my husband and kids.

But, I'm not wearing any underwear!!!!

Amy is back, and she has a funny story for us this time. However, today it isn't about the gym she owns, no it is about her visit to Urgent Care:

I have been sick for four days now – yes four. We are talking fever, aches, upset stomach, dizzy and worst of all a sore throat. Finally deciding it was not going to go away I decided to make a “quick” visit to the Urgent Care Clinic this morning before work. Now I use “” around quick because you would have to be certifiably looney in the toons to think that on Monday anything about Urgent Care would be quick.

I drove into the parking lot 10 minutes before the clinic opened, thinking this would be suitable enough to get me out in plenty of time to make it to work. As I sat in my car I started getting that panic feeling in my gut – you know the one you get when you are about to get out of your car early Friday morning for the after Thanksgiving Black Friday sale? My eyes are darting back and forth between the clock, the parked cars and the ones rolling in – one hand is at the ready on the door handle. Finally with 5 minutes left till go time, someone makes a move. It was like a chain reaction of panic with doors flying open and people do that stupid run/walk (you know what I am talking about – that cross between a run and walk that people use when they are mid street and the little red hand comes up telling you it is NOT safe to cross the street, and you don’t want to look like a fool running, but you know time is running out so you do the run/walk – lets just call it a rulk). Anyway people are rulking up to the door, and of course even though there is a clear line formed at the door, people decide they are going to stand off to the side of the line and just cut it. So finally the doors open and we all rush forward like the walking dead towards the reception desk.

I get my place in the line up and go sit down to start the waiting (and watching) game. So all of these people are lined up at one reception desk waiting like cattle, when low and behold a receptionist at the other end of the building calls “I can help someone down here.” So this Dad takes his little boys hand and starts to walk over, when this older lady tries to do some type of football maneuver around them to get there first – tripping the poor kid in the process. Then of course I end up between the fighting couple and the woman with volume control syndrome who is having a very personal conversation on her cell phone. What else could I do but sit and pray for it all to be over soon. Thankfully, as I was visualizing grabbing the phone and walking over to the front doors to chuck it outside, I get called back. You would think my story would end here….

Unfortunately no. So I get checked out by the doctor and find out that aside from the nasal congestion/flu crud that has been making the rounds, I have strep – my third case in the last two months. I get the great news that she is going to have the nurse come in and give me a shot of antibiotics, no messing around with pills this time. Well, aside from the fact that I really hate shots, I could not come up with a good enough excuse to convince her otherwise – plus I can’t swallow pills anyway. The nurse comes in and I start to roll up my sleeve, only to be informed that this shot doesn’t go in your arm – it goes in your thigh. Well great! She asks me to pull down my pants and sit on the table. At this point I get the a case of the giggles as I explain to her that with being sick all weekend I didn’t really get a chance to do laundry so ummmmm I’m not wearing any underwear. And that is how I started my morning.

The things we do for our Kids!!!!

OK as you may or may not know, according to whether you have been to my blog or not, is that I am really terrified of moths. Yes moths, i know it's pathetic but it's always been there and it doesn't change, I also intensely dislike butterflies and small birds and anything that flutters or appears on the cover of novels like Silence of the Lambs.

My family are all aware of the phobia, the kids are more than aware, they like to tell everyone about how hilarious it is when a moth gets into the kitchen and all hell breaks loose. One landed on Syd's forehead one time and I almost took the poor kid out with a frying pan!!!! We all stood there screaming at each other!!!! I would have won $100,000 if someone had taped it!!

So, it's early May and Ash has a birthday coming up in June, she tells me about fifteen trillion times that she wants a Butterfly Garden, she repeats the commercial verbatim and tells me if I order now I can get the caterpillars for free, order with your credit card at 1-800-suckah!!! Now I didn't exactly do that (I make it a rule never to order from the TV, used to work for a BIG BANK and saw scams every minute of every day a lot of them involving purchasing stuff from the TV). I digress. I can't remember where I saw this thing being sold but I caved when I thought about her cute little face and how excited she'd be to get her own butterfly garden. I bought it!

Happy Birthday, you're five and now you have a butterfly garden.

I opened it and found that you have to then order the caterpillars.... wonderful....another thing to prolong the inevitable....I made it about hmmm three months before I crumbled and actually ordered the damn caterpillars.

Enter new sitter, the girls were home for a

week with a new sitter for Fall Break (for those of you outside the US, they get

a week off school early October,

we don't usually go anywhere special). I called new sitter and asked her if she'd do the honors and get the things out of the box and into the

pop up hamper thing. Well she didn't have to,

they come in a little jar that sits there while they eat and then make their cocoons. It's after this stage that you have to move them, drat that means I'll have to wait a while and find

another fool I mean helper to do it.

Of course they turn into beautiful little cocoons, as the directions describe them, you then have to pin the little piece of paper they are hanging from onto the inside of the hamper thingy.....this caused much drama... you're not supposed to mess with them much or disturb them, you try pinning the thing without jiggling them, all the while you have a five year old grabbing onto you, the hamper, the cocoons and screaming with delight!!!!!

We did it, they hatched, and then they fluttered.

It was at this point my fear started to kick in, every time Ash went in there to see her "little babies" (she named them all) she would unzip the top and I had horrific visions of them flying all over her room!!! I would get butterflies just looking at her with them! Argghh.

So I managed to persuade her after a week or so to set them free, let them out into the wide world to go yonder and collect nectar and do whatever it is they do....and get the hell out of my house!!!

Actually it wasn't too bad, they were really kind of docile as far as fluttery bugs go, they would sit on the girls hands and let them hold them for a long time before they finally flew away. Yes, they flew away, far far away!!! Exhale!!!!

Now Syd wants one... I don't know if I can do it again!!!! How about a goat or a donkey or something??? at least they'd keep the grass down!!!

Thanks for reading and thanks again Jules for having me!!!

McGillicutty can be found here
@ Inner Rambling of a Mid Life Mama

(have you started to notice?
how awesome my blog friends are?
I am blessed)

Only Watch If You Like To Laugh

Ok, so this is 5 minutes long. But, truly worth it. You can get the general idea of just how funny this by watching even 1 minute.

This is what Facebook has done to relationships- Enjoy... hope you like to laugh

Pregnancy Tests and a Gallon of Ice Cream

Podcast is right up there -----------^^

~:~:~:~:~:~:~
Updated side note! : If you live in a hole (or a dungeon like Shelle) then you don't know about Blog of Note. If you don't know about Blog of Note, then you don't know that Adam was just named - the blogger to take note of! Congrats! I swear I have the best blogger friends.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Ok, on with the show

If you haven't been around the House of Jules lately because you were someplace like Singapore locked into a building covered in stars then you don't know that I did a pod-cast with Adam from Throwing Quarters.

Back story: Adam hosts a podcast. For last week's podcast his guest canceled. He mentioned this on his FaceBook page. I being the ever problem solver and chronic joker commented that he should just call me and I would fill the time. In steps fate - another person comments that they thought this was a great idea (of course it is, I came up with it!) The ball is now rolling.

As the cast gets closer I realize I have nothing - no story of my own. For the first time I am speechless. Blame it on the dreary summer or my lack of activity lately. (I mean who wants to hear me talk about watching my kids take swim lessons - insert cricket noises)

I finally decide to use someone else's life. Why not. (Her life is a sitcom, really.) You can hear the story on the podcast. It isn't far in, it won't be much of a time commitment for you and it really is worth a listen. First there is a song (a rather good one if I do say so myself) and then my story. Ok - go listen.

Done? yeah- go back- you didn't really listen, that was too quick.

waiting................................................................................................

ok, now you listened to it? good ... here is the rest of the story.

Like all good programs some things that are not quite golden, but still note worthy end up on the cutting room floor (or in this case the virtual trash bin). So, today - for a Mundane Monday I am going to write down some more combination. So here we go - combinations you can buy at Walmart to freak your clerk out. (some may double up from the cast-deal with it) :

• Pregnancy test and condoms
• Nicorette and cigarretes
• Coffee and Tylenol PM
• Pasta and a Dr. Atkins book
• Balloons and cacti
• Stereo and earplugs
• Light bulbs and a sleeping mask
• Beer, shooting permit, wedding license
• A man buying - women's panties (size XL), a big pack of razors, shave cream, and bandaids
• Goldfish, 2 liter goldfish bowl, and 2 liters of Mt. Dew
• A shovel, large storage tote, paint thinner
• Slim Fast, Doritos, Bag of candy, and a Motivational weight loss book
• Plastic sheeting, an ax, duct tape, and a local forest map
• Diet Coke and any fattening food
• Red bull, heavy metal CD, and sleeping aid
• Some real life purchases--
• Fancy bra & panties, spackle, dog treats, velcro, condoms, & chain
• Bungee cords, women's lingerie, motor oil
• Prom dress and tennis shoes
• A shopper witnessed a man ahead of her buying a maternity dress and very large shoes
• A gallon of ice cream and a pregnancy test.
• A case of KY once a week for a whole summer (this was for a theater group that was using it like hair gel)
• Pack of condoms, ice cream, whip cream, curling iron, and binder clips.
• Neck massager and batteries (the clerk told her to have a "good night")

That leads me to my final point. I hate when clerks comment on your purchases. Talk to me, ask me how the weather is, joke about working or shopping there - but DO NOT COMMENT ON MY PURCHASES! I dont care if you don't like cherries, I am buying them I obviously do. Do not tell me my bra is "cute" ugg - it is just creepy!

All images from Google Image Search

Do you have any others - any good one? Put them in the comment box... my comment box is getting boring, let's spice it up!

Listen Up!

The Podcast is up!

Listen to it here

There is a fabulous song to start

and then my story.

I had a blast and I believe it

turned out well

Thanks to Adam for including me!
Now, go listen... go!