Stories to tell.... black Friday

It is cold and dark and I am piling myself into a vehicle with coffee in hand. It is 4:45am. I thought as the kids got older I would not need to make this journey. Yes, of course I am talking about shopping - black Friday- where the crazies go.

But, what I am finding is as the kids get older their gift lists get more difficult - and more expensive!!!!! So this early morning, once a year venture is becoming more and more necessary actually.

Cameras, MP3 players, and Nerf guns top the list and sent us searching for deals.

We went, we bought, we don't fight, we come back with stories to be shared (like the lady who was trying to hold back the flood of "cheaters" who were coming in from the sides of the lines, or snagging the last digital camera frame while trying to "sneak" it past hubby for his Christmas gift.... yeah he saw) over cinnamon rolls and coffee.... just as everyone else is getting out of bed.

*another post w/o pics. I am using my dad's laptop while out of town.

Blinders On

Ring, Ring, Ring goes the phone

"Hey, are you mad at me?"

"What?" Confused, "why would I be?"

"I don't know, but I just saw you in Target and you cruised right past me"

"Oh, yeah, well, I shop with blinders on....."

As you know (or some new found friends may not know) I have four kids. Dearest is for the most part working. There for it is to be understood that when I am going anywhere I have four kids with me. Now, as they are growing it is getting better, but I have fallen into the habit of shopping with blinders on. I am focused on the task at hand and where my children are at all times.

I am not a casual, stroll along and listen to the muzac whilst looking at the products around me - no I am the need 6 cans of cream soup and 6 cans of diced tomatoes in this aisle kind of shopping fury . I also expect my children to show the utmost respect and decent behavior in public. That means keeping a close eye on everything they say or do while they are still in the "training" process (don't email me about my choice of words- words are eluding me this week- if you have a better one to insert there then do so!)

My intention when I enter a store is to get what I need and (usually) a little more. Avoid as many impulse buys as possible and get out of there without ripping the heads off any stupid muzac listening shoppers along the way, as I make sure my kids don't embarrass me or break anything (like a jar of tomato juice -ugg!).

So if you see me breeze past you in Target or the grocery store and I don't stop to chat or even wave 'hi' it is not because I am mad at you. I just don't see you (or I may see you and be avoiding you because that would keep me in the store that much longer... shhhh don't tell anyone that part)

Pregnancy Tests and a Gallon of Ice Cream

Podcast is right up there -----------^^

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Updated side note! : If you live in a hole (or a dungeon like Shelle) then you don't know about Blog of Note. If you don't know about Blog of Note, then you don't know that Adam was just named - the blogger to take note of! Congrats! I swear I have the best blogger friends.
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Ok, on with the show

If you haven't been around the House of Jules lately because you were someplace like Singapore locked into a building covered in stars then you don't know that I did a pod-cast with Adam from Throwing Quarters.

Back story: Adam hosts a podcast. For last week's podcast his guest canceled. He mentioned this on his FaceBook page. I being the ever problem solver and chronic joker commented that he should just call me and I would fill the time. In steps fate - another person comments that they thought this was a great idea (of course it is, I came up with it!) The ball is now rolling.

As the cast gets closer I realize I have nothing - no story of my own. For the first time I am speechless. Blame it on the dreary summer or my lack of activity lately. (I mean who wants to hear me talk about watching my kids take swim lessons - insert cricket noises)

I finally decide to use someone else's life. Why not. (Her life is a sitcom, really.) You can hear the story on the podcast. It isn't far in, it won't be much of a time commitment for you and it really is worth a listen. First there is a song (a rather good one if I do say so myself) and then my story. Ok - go listen.

Done? yeah- go back- you didn't really listen, that was too quick.

waiting................................................................................................

ok, now you listened to it? good ... here is the rest of the story.

Like all good programs some things that are not quite golden, but still note worthy end up on the cutting room floor (or in this case the virtual trash bin). So, today - for a Mundane Monday I am going to write down some more combination. So here we go - combinations you can buy at Walmart to freak your clerk out. (some may double up from the cast-deal with it) :

• Pregnancy test and condoms
• Nicorette and cigarretes
• Coffee and Tylenol PM
• Pasta and a Dr. Atkins book
• Balloons and cacti
• Stereo and earplugs
• Light bulbs and a sleeping mask
• Beer, shooting permit, wedding license
• A man buying - women's panties (size XL), a big pack of razors, shave cream, and bandaids
• Goldfish, 2 liter goldfish bowl, and 2 liters of Mt. Dew
• A shovel, large storage tote, paint thinner
• Slim Fast, Doritos, Bag of candy, and a Motivational weight loss book
• Plastic sheeting, an ax, duct tape, and a local forest map
• Diet Coke and any fattening food
• Red bull, heavy metal CD, and sleeping aid
• Some real life purchases--
• Fancy bra & panties, spackle, dog treats, velcro, condoms, & chain
• Bungee cords, women's lingerie, motor oil
• Prom dress and tennis shoes
• A shopper witnessed a man ahead of her buying a maternity dress and very large shoes
• A gallon of ice cream and a pregnancy test.
• A case of KY once a week for a whole summer (this was for a theater group that was using it like hair gel)
• Pack of condoms, ice cream, whip cream, curling iron, and binder clips.
• Neck massager and batteries (the clerk told her to have a "good night")

That leads me to my final point. I hate when clerks comment on your purchases. Talk to me, ask me how the weather is, joke about working or shopping there - but DO NOT COMMENT ON MY PURCHASES! I dont care if you don't like cherries, I am buying them I obviously do. Do not tell me my bra is "cute" ugg - it is just creepy!

All images from Google Image Search

Do you have any others - any good one? Put them in the comment box... my comment box is getting boring, let's spice it up!

Empty cupboard + Shopping = $$$

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"Old Mother Hubbard..."
by Mother Goose

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone;
But when she came there
The cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog had none.

She went to the baker's
To buy him some bread;
But when she came back
The poor dog was dead.

She went to the joiner's
To buy him a coffin;
But when she came back
The poor dog was laughing.

She took a clean dish,
To get him some tripe;
But when she came back
He was smoking his pipe.

She went to the hatter's
To buy him a hat;
But when she came back
He was feeding the cat.

She went to the barber's
To buy him a wig;
But when she came back
He was dancing a jig.

She went to the fruiterer's
To buy him some fruit;
But when she came back
He was playing the flute.

She went to the tailor's
To buy him a coat;
But when she came back
He was riding a goat.

She went to the cobbler's
To buy him some shoes;
But when she came back
He was reading the news.

She went to the seamstress
To buy him some linen;
But when she came back
The dog was spinning.

She went to the hosier's
To buy him some hose;
But when she came back
He was dressed in his clothes.

The dame made a curtsey,
The dog made a bow;
The dame said, "Your servant,"
The dog said, "Bow-wow."

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Old Mother Hubbard = me
The dog = my family
empty cupboard + hungry family =
shopping today