I have to type out these few lines that have been going through my head so that I can go to bed. I can't sleep, these words have been digging a hole in my brain all afternoon and possibly yesterday too.
I am getting back to the nitty gritty. I need to start thinking again. I have been on auto pilot. However, on auto pilot not all of the right switches get hit at the right time and adjusting for turbulence isn't possible. It can get you to your destination but it isn't the best way to function for the whole trip. (these are the words that were stuck in my head - the rest is devil spawn I swear!)
My house is driving me crazy - the walls are closing in. Figuratively and literally - There is clutter everywhere, and I have been in these same walls far too long. Yet, I haven't made it outside. The weather is to blame for a lot of this. I still haven't sanded and sealed the play house (nor have I posted a blog about the play house over at TALA) I haven't sanded and stained the front deck, nor have I even swept out the outhouse. The third hammock is still in storage, and the fountain went dry the other day. Flowers are over wet and others are bone dry. The garage is starting to resemble a nightmare and the cobwebs are taking over. (you know what else is to blame? last year's gas prices! When they were almost $5 a gallon I learned to stay home. Not going out and not thinking of what I wanted to do outside of the house. It was going green as in saving some! Now that mind set has stuck. Not a bad thing, but not helpful when the walls are closing in)
Inside my house - yikes, I can't even make a list.
So, a couple of things need to happen.
::I need to turn my brain back on - this will not happen quickly or go from 10% functioning to 100% overnight - but I am going to start cranking the handle to get the process started.
::I absolutely have to spend a
::Inside needs a thorough once over. Hubby has banned me from doing another garage sale after I was
:: I will be held accountable by you all. Every so often I am going to make a list and then I will take picture proof to present to you. Maybe a to do and a completed list in the side bar? uggg all so much
:: I will be writing a lot less fluff and stuff and getting back to my soap box - ok, well.... I will still show pretty pictures, but if I can get this brain going I might come up with some rants again, and a little bit of grit. That might mean turning the t.v. back on or reading a paper so I can know what there is to bitch about in my part of the world. (cuz really fluff and stuff is for Winnie the Pooh)
::I am going to allow myself to spend a bit more time in front of the computer in the mornings again. This staying away to get things done is not working - hear this everyone in my life I am working with my internal clock and hitting it hard when I work best - so just back off and leave me alone! (ha, I wish it worked that easily)
::Apparently (after Dearest has just hollared out to me wondering why I am still typing, asking me if I was writing a book) I am also going to write a book that is a hit so that I can go on a book tour - hubby's request... sounds a bit John and Kate to me ;)
::OK, he's right - I will stop now because quite frankly this post was only going to be a few lines. I just needed to get them out of my head so that I could go to bed. Who knew those ideas were having sex in there and breeding a spew of ideas and frustrations and hatching a plan to expose my general laziness/lack of concentration as of late!
I need to go now- I haven't paid my house payment yet, just one more item overlooked (don't worry honey it isn't considered "late" until the 10th.
side note: this is a long time coming but was spurred by Spudaloo saying that I was "sassy" and quite frankly I am, but I haven't been lately. So, I shall rise again to honor the title of sassy - and to you my dear Spud fairy (kick in the pants) mother - thank you for unintentionally spurring me on. I needed it.
I love love love that you are claiming your sassy-ness! love and kisses
Don't be too hard on yourself. Projects are always there, but life with your kids will come to an end.
Grit mixed in with a little fluff is not a bad thing. I don't mind either. And sassy you are!
awww dont be so hard on yourself!! I think we all go thru those moments..Im having one over here myself!!! I have so so so many projects Ive ignored and so need to get them done... I dont feel motivated..dont feel like I have any umpf!! But I know they will be waiting for me when I get my umpf back...they always are!
this has to be the most entertaining self argument ever!!
Urg - I know this feeling...so many projects waiting, and broken stuff we can't afford to replace...taking some control and crossing even one thing off the list is a triumph!
However, I am kind of a fan of fluff and stuff... :)
Gosh, all this from one word..who knew a single word could be so powerful! Yay you...I 'may' follow your lead. I have a couple of niggling projects lurking which bother me, I should just get on with them rather than let them sap energy niggling me.
BTW, did you see that you won the prize for my 30 secrets contest! You guessed correctly, send me your address and a prize shall be yours...
You are not alone!
What a great mental purge! I would like to echo Sandra's sentiments on being gentle with yourself. Baby steps dear Jules. Honor your need for order, but take time to play, too. When they are older, the kids will remember fingerpainting with Mom on the kitchen floor, not the swept outhouse.
Ok dear Jules.. it's fine to be overwhelmed and have it turn to sassy... it's good.. and we love grit!!! I too get to this point so the other day I gave myself just two projects to complete and ignored the rest. I did it!!!!
Here's the deal.. break it down one time... and you'll triumph over the evil clutter!!! hugs.. Ali.
Good for you! I see on the sidebar that you've already started! I've just decided to write a list of everything I have/want to do and divide the big things in small bits that I can easily do. I have to do at least one thing from my list every day. That way things will get done... but I'm not sure when I'll finish with everything!
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