Saturday, August 29, 2009
Who Were You In High School?
Who was I in High School?
I had bad hair and worse skin.
I was skinny, too skinny.
I wasn't a geek, but I wasn't "the coolest" kid either.
I tried hard to be nice to everyone. I felt that no one deserved poor treatment.
I danced, I loved to dance.
I played an instrument, but only well enough to stay in the band - I could have been better, I didn't want to practice.
I was in drama - but behind the scenes, never good enough to be on stage.
I learned quickly not to talk behind other's backs and to just smile and nod when others did. I was smart, I could have been smarter. I tried, but only hard enough. I finished my credits early, but didn't do anything about it, just wasted the last semester of High School on art classes- although I had fun in those.
Things came easy to me - but not boys. I couldn't get a boy to look my way. Well, a couple from out of town I guess, but he moved to our town and then dumped me for someone more 'popular'. Luckily, that changed in college. I am glad now actually, I got to be 'me' not 'me and him'.... I went to prom, but didn't have that great of time. I was trying to make it something instead of letting it be what it was. I took the yearbook candid photos, and I was the head of S.A.D.D. I was runner up for Outstanding Young Adult 1991, I was told the winner lied on her stats.... whatever! I was someone inside- just not everyone knew it.
I knew it, I liked myself, who I was on the inside. I can't say that about everyone I went to school with. I knew I was meant for more then just that High School, that town, those classmates. I knew the world was bigger. I enjoyed myself, but, I longed for more. I cried on graduation, because I was glad to be done/out of there.
I got out of high school and my looks changed. I was a late bloomer - way way late bloomer. I started turning heads, people wanted to be my friend. The personality that was always there started to be backed up with a few curves and long hair. I was a bartender and a waitress- honing my people skills. I became who I wanted to be.
Oh, sure, I got stomped on, even crushed by a few 'dumb' boys (ok, more than a few) and a few friends. But, I picked myself up and kept going, it is what I do. I have had many many major medical issues and countless surgeries, yet I pick myself up and keep going, it is what I do.
I took a bet - stayed single for 6 months and learned to love myself again. I met a boy who was really a man, he didn't let me hurt 'us', he "outstubborned" me. We married.... we had kids 4 impossible miracles. We mourned the loss of one child, our twin girl... we didn't fall into the divorce statistics even though they were/are stacked against us.
I still fall - emotionally and physically, but I pick myself up and I keep going, it is what I do.
Who were you in High School?
I am only a fragment of the girl I was. She was the seed, and everyone and everything good and bad has contributed to that seed's growth into me, into who I am today.
Who am I now?
Me, I am just me
- Just Jules-
and sometimes just being yourself is good enough!
side note: post inspired by some old pics on Facebook