Saturday, August 29, 2009

Who Were You In High School?

Who was I in High School?

I had bad hair and worse skin.
I was skinny, too skinny.
I wasn't a geek, but I wasn't "the coolest" kid either.
I tried hard to be nice to everyone. I felt that no one deserved poor treatment.
I danced, I loved to dance.

I played an instrument, but only well enough to stay in the band - I could have been better, I didn't want to practice.

I was in drama - but behind the scenes, never good enough to be on stage.

I learned quickly not to talk behind other's backs and to just smile and nod when others did. I was smart, I could have been smarter. I tried, but only hard enough. I finished my credits early, but didn't do anything about it, just wasted the last semester of High School on art classes- although I had fun in those.

Things came easy to me - but not boys. I couldn't get a boy to look my way. Well, a couple from out of town I guess, but he moved to our town and then dumped me for someone more 'popular'. Luckily, that changed in college. I am glad now actually, I got to be 'me' not 'me and him'.... I went to prom, but didn't have that great of time. I was trying to make it something instead of letting it be what it was. I took the yearbook candid photos, and I was the head of S.A.D.D. I was runner up for Outstanding Young Adult 1991, I was told the winner lied on her stats.... whatever! I was someone inside- just not everyone knew it.

I knew it, I liked myself, who I was on the inside. I can't say that about everyone I went to school with. I knew I was meant for more then just that High School, that town, those classmates. I knew the world was bigger. I enjoyed myself, but, I longed for more. I cried on graduation, because I was glad to be done/out of there.

I got out of high school and my looks changed. I was a late bloomer - way way late bloomer. I started turning heads, people wanted to be my friend. The personality that was always there started to be backed up with a few curves and long hair. I was a bartender and a waitress- honing my people skills. I became who I wanted to be.

Oh, sure, I got stomped on, even crushed by a few 'dumb' boys (ok, more than a few) and a few friends. But, I picked myself up and kept going, it is what I do. I have had many many major medical issues and countless surgeries, yet I pick myself up and keep going, it is what I do.

I took a bet - stayed single for 6 months and learned to love myself again. I met a boy who was really a man, he didn't let me hurt 'us', he "outstubborned" me. We married.... we had kids 4 impossible miracles. We mourned the loss of one child, our twin girl... we didn't fall into the divorce statistics even though they were/are stacked against us.

I still fall - emotionally and physically, but I pick myself up and I keep going, it is what I do.

Who were you in High School?

I am only a fragment of the girl I was. She was the seed, and everyone and everything good and bad has contributed to that seed's growth into me, into who I am today.

Who am I now?
Me, I am just me
- Just Jules-
and sometimes just being yourself is good enough!

side note: post inspired by some old pics on Facebook


Deb said...

Jules is an amazing person, inside and out. What a great bio! Love the high school photo. I think you are still blooming! Growing and changing with your family. I learned some new things about my dear friend today.

Anonymous said...

dang girl you were the hotness in high school it looks like to me!
how in the world do you get your hair to stay like that bottom pic? It must take a bunch of that gel or spray or jism stuff y'all women use.

Everyone has a path, looking back every trial aand triumph makes us who we are. I should do a who was I high school. People would think I invented it tho.

Great post!

Unknown said...

I love how you embrace the girl you were in high school and you know she has helped you become who you are.

I'm almost 3 years out of high school now and I feel as though I'm not the same person at all, but in a good way. She's important to my past, but not who I'm going to be in the future.

Lorac said...

I hate to admit it but I was the rebel child. I grew up too early and decided at a very young age to take life into my own hands. I have paid for this decision dearly but there is no way I can say I did not learn from life! I quit school early went back and got my high school diploma at 21. At 29 I went on to college and became a paramedic. Now I am applying again for college after a layoff in May. I am excited and full of trepidation at the same time! Life lessons never stop and I as well am far from the rebel child I once was.

Chief said...

Ok, so I had to come over and see just how random you can be.

I'll be here a while, you got a lot a crap to say....sheesh

Adan said...

he "outstubborned" you. love that line!!

glad you are who you are. no apologies, no regrets, no turning back!

nice work!

Jane said...

What a wonderful story of your past. I relate to a great deal of it. I may look back once in a while but I try to stay focused on the future because it is so much better than my past. I'm glad you are in a happier place too. Please take care. (what a powerful topic)

Sandra said...

From what I can tell you have developed into someone worth knowing. And I agree you are still 'becoming'!

rxBambi said...

I love this post. It got me thinking about who I was in high school. Of course I did that recently at my reunion. I think you're definitely someone worth knowing! Just Jules, I think your awesome :)

Homer and Queen said...

I was the cute, bubbly I am the cranky old mom!!! I love you!

Anonymous said...

I loved this post. It made me laugh and it made me cry to finally find out how you feel and how you felt. I didn't read anything about your mom in the shaping of "you". Usually there is a good one or a not so good one. All I know is that I soooooo loved you then and I sooooo love you "now".

Indiri Wood said...

I was also the band geek in art classes. Smart, but not trying harder than I had to. I'm one of the strange ones who would actually like to "try it again". If I had the chance to go back in time to high school, knowing what I know now, I'd take it in a second. Oh well. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, etc. I guess I'll just have to try and share my lessons with my kids. :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I was on the drill team, behind the scenes and on stage for drama, and took AP classes... I was a geek in my own way with computers, but I've always been that way!

High school was fun for me... but I was happy to be done with it when it was time.

Everything back then was black and white and two dimensional... now I see more facets of life and of me that I enjoy and love the woman I am growing into... I hope I always continue to change and grow... I wouldn't want to be that girl in high school... even though while I was her I enjoyed being her... I just don't think it's very productive to be at a stand still... to be stubborn in your ways never allowing change and growth. Those people are sad to me.

I love who I am now... but 10 years from now... I hope I'm a better more refined me! :)

As they say... things only get better with age... right?

math guy, dock guy said...

Great post. Thank you for sharing. I don't think I out stubborn you. I think you are "still" winning that battle. (and boy do I need it) Thanks Jules for making my life better every day.

Anonymous said...

Great post. I can see why you picked this one as a favorite.

I think about my own high school days and realize how far removed I am from the person I was back then. I'm much quieter now . . .