Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What I meant to say

What I meant to say... oh this is going to be fun.
(you can find out the particulars by clicking on the $5 link above)

To the guy at the post office who couldn't find my "Delivery Confirmation" package
(which is obviously important, and there for the person paid for such a request....)
What I said was:
"That's o.k. it wasn't your fault it was lost. Call me when you find it."
What I meant to say was:
"Find my freakin' package buddy before I grab you by the collar and shake one out of you. NOW!!!!!"


To the lady at Target whose till rebooted right after my cart FULL of stuff was rung up and I was swiping my overly abused debit card ...
What I said was:
"It's not your fault. Let's just do this together and get it over with" as she re-rung every item again.
What I meant to say was:
"I am going to be LATE to pick my son up from pre-school now and I am going to look like a neglectful parent who will get the stink eye from the teacher because your dang computer puttered out." To Target what I should say is "As much money as the world spends at your store (I alone pay the light bill, I swear) you cold buy new computers!!!! 30 YEARS OLD IS TOO OLD!!!

To my friend who is having issues with a couple of her friends.
I said was:
" You need to be above it all and just sit back and let it alone"
What I meant to say is:
" Those ladies are acting like 13 yr old BITCHES and you are better off without them - run girl run! I haven't cared much for either of them ever... However, I have always loved you. Run!!!!!"


When my husband asked where his clean underwear were (since there weren't any in his drawer)
What I said was
" They are downstairs in the small wicker basket right in front of the dryer dear. Can you get them, or should I run down and grab them for you." even though he sat downstairs and watched me fold laundry as we watched tv together the night before and knew I was working on laundry
What I meant to say is:
"F*ck you *sshole, do your own d*mn laundry and you will know exactly where it is." (please note: hubby suggested this one ;)

Oh I best stop here for this week... but, Ahhh yes people, this is going to be fun.
Every Wednesday morning I will be playing along. You too can join the fun.

Due to this change: I will be delaying our Collaborative Photo Project until Wednesday afternoon/evening time.


Chief said...

yer so loyal!

and I am so jealous about all the middle finger reference pics!

Tell Hubs thanks for the input! he's my kinda guy!

Anonymous said...

So you mean to tell me that clothes get washed and folded?
I thought they were just always in the drawers!

Excellent post idea! Go CHief!

Unknown said...

Those were awesome!

Big Blue House said...

Enjoyed your post. Am I the one having problems with their two friends?

Epiphius said...

If you're paying the light bill, I think I'm paying the water!

I used to work for their parent company and they are horrible.

Unknown said...

lmbo @ the hubby one I don't think I know a woman one who cannot commiserate and empathize with that one completely..

Anonymous said...

after the post office comment, I am now a fan..those people drive me nuts!

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Hahaha....I love your husband's input....and the fact that he has a sense of humor. :)

Tracie Nall said...

My husband heard me laughing at your blog and after I read it to him he quickly said..."Don't mention me underwear or laundry." I said okay honey. What I meant was, "I will immediately be typing all about it as soon as you go sit down"

The post office is the worst!!! I could get months full of posts just about them!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!!!! This is freakin' awesome.

Hindsight for me is a bitch. Which is why I love this even more! ;)


supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl said...

funnay!! the hubby one is classic.

Vodka Logic said...

Since my hubs folds laundry I can't play with that one. but the Target one is spot on.. you pay the light bill I must pay at least a couple of salaries.

come visit I have an award for you.

Anonymous said...

I needta hang out here ore, buncha hot chicks here!

Just Jules said...

Sage - pull a chair up. Here, have a beer. Comfy? Good.

VL- on my way over.

Supah - is this the famous stick it to Supah?

EE- well said, yes this is hindsight isn't it?

Tracie - you sound like my kind of gal

Princess- he is usually quite literal, but every once in a while...

Steve - hang out here, it is a blast. Here, have a chair next to Sage, do you speak neck?

signed - I am still waiting for laundry elves to show up at my house... hmmm

epiphius - you would think with all the money that company spends to make sure your shopping experience is a good one would carry it to the checkout process where you give them your MONEY

Blue House - nope, not you. But, you could run from a few friends too.

Amber - thanks for visiting, yours were funny too!

Sage - you still comfy? good... *slap* no the hamper is NOT a magic box

Chief - i'm gold!!!! thanks for the fun... until next week

Evonne said...

Funny! I love the middle finger references! Sometimes I wish I had more, too.

Just Jules said...

Evonne - I told hubby about that pic and said ... I haven't used my middle finger in so long.... He said - what? do you mean to other people? hahhahaaa!

Anonymous said...

All that slappin is gonna getcha a spanking!

Wooo Hooo @ hot chicks tho!

Shell said...

Love your laundry one!

math guy, dock guy said...

What's funny is the guys know where the laundry is but by saying "where's the underwear?" we are really saying is "it's been three days since you started laundry, how come it isn't in the drawer yet?"

<3 u Jules

Kmama said...

Stopping by from Chief's...

Of course I LOVE the last one. ;-)

Cherished By Me said...

Love it!
I'm terrible, I have fantastic 'imaginary' conversations then when it comes to it I'm meek and mild and say yes probably my fault!! ;0/

Unknown said...

HUGE fan of the middle finger pic! Fits me to a T!

Deb said...

Dearest Jules, just be grateful that your husband wants to wear underwear. That's a very good thing.

rxBambi said...

oh my gosh these are too funny! I think I may need to play along as well! Remind me next week!

Joanne said...

LMAO at the laundry comment.