Mom...You Are a Country Girl

Son: Mom, I think you are a country girl. Not a city girl.

Me: Well, I try to be son.

Son: Yeah. I think you are.

Me: Thank you.

Son: Yeah, cuz city girls are all pretty and stuff...

Me: WHAT? You don't think I am pretty?... geez... thanks!

Son: NO, I don't think you ACT all pretty and such. You are pretty, you just don't act like they do on t.v. when they act all pretty and from the city so......

Me: Oh, Ok. Well good. Because a person can be pretty without acting like that. Because when you "act" pretty is about the time you start looking ugly.

Son: That is why I said you are a country girl. I want to be a country boy. But, you know that.

Me: I wouldn't have it any other way son.

Photo #3
pic by: Just Jules
Child #3 reading with dad.

Fiery One

It is hard for me to believe that this little man is 7 years old today (Monday). When he was born he was going to be our last child. He was baby number 3 in three years. That was it, we were done. For a year and some he was treated as the last child. Until the real last child (baby #4) made a surprise visit in my womb and eventually the world.

(sometimes unplanned things turn out to be the best kind of surprise)

The first two babes came so quickly (17 months apart) and there was such a flurry of craziness in that short time that truly enjoying each moment was not something I focused on. Survival was the name of the game with them. But, I knew this was it. This was the last baby I would nurse, rock, change diapers, watch as he learned to sit/crawl/walk/and grow, I just knew to appreciate it because it wasn't going to last and it would be my last opportunity. (or so I thought)


I am so happy I was able to have that time with this child - my now official middle child. We have two oldests in our family really since one is a boy and one a girl and they are so close in age. We have a youngest too. Which leaves this boy pulling up the middle child role. OH, he has this role down pat.

His name means 'fiery one' . It is of the Celtic background and it couldn't be more accurate. I love this little boy and all of his complexities. He makes me laugh everyday and he makes me pull my hair (usually in the same moment).

So, Happy Happy Birthday to my little man. I can not wait to know you as an adult because you are going to be even more amazing.

Do You Live In Your House? Keeping it real.

Keeping it real.
I saw this on a blog. I am so sorry, but, I was in my fog (it was around the first day of school) so I have forgotten which of you lovely bloggers did this first.
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If you call me and tell me you are coming over now for coffee- as long as I have 10 minutes min. I can pull my house together and have it looking half way decent. But, if you were to just pop in unannounced you would find "reality". Real life. We live in our houses, that is what houses are for after all. If we spend every moment of every day keeping it up to Ms. Stewart's standards we would go batty.

So in that light I would like to show you my house- to keep it real. But, because I am human - I feel like I should tell you that these pics were taken after three additional children were here for play dates. But trust me, it doesn't take long for my kids to reek this much havoc on our house in a short amount of time.

Lincoln logs, Imaginext, Star Wars, Hot Wheels, Dinosaurs
We support them all

This mess is from the boys primarily.

Breakfast still on the table, clean and dirty dishes waiting to be put away,
the bread drawer exploded
More toys
This that and everything collects in the kitchen/dining room

I don't even want to know what they were doing downstairs
with all of those pillows and blankets?
cannon balls of the couch possibly?

This girl knows how to play. Of all the kids in our house she uses
everyone of her toys and has quite the imagination.
However she is not so good with the clean up.
Yes, my girly is the worse. However most of her fallout stays in her room.

While my house will never be worthy of a magazine shoot I find I don't care. When we were first married and didn't have any kids we kept our house as though it may be photographed at anytime - but guess what? they never came calling. Back then how things sat of the shelf mattered to me, and the fact that one thing was out of place was a problem. But it wasn't comfortable. It was neat and clean and the fact that there wasn't a disaster around each corner was nice. But there was a different pressure. The pressure to keep it that way.

Now days we clean the house. Every night before the kids go to bed, everything is back in it's place and the kitchen is cleaned - but in between, during our "living" time- that is what we do, we live.

I Can Do It Myself!

You know it,
You've Heard it.

I Can Do It Myself MOM!

Well now for two mornings a week - this is true. You will have to buddy. Mommy will not be there.

My 4 (almost 5) year old is a pre-schooler this year. Whaaaaaaaat?

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It was only a few years ago (duh- 4 almost 5!) When I looked into the rear view mirror and saw four car seats lined up with four tiny faces looking at me - I knew I was in trouble. Talk about overwhelming!

Now only 4 (almost 5) years later he is the last one at home. We can "quick" run into the grocery store. ( -vs- carrying a car seat and an infant and two toddlers being kicked along, praying that they don't dart in front of a car, while balancing a diaper bag and a grocery list) I can decide to stop into the thrift store to see if they have a coat in a kid's size 8 and it really is a quick stop in.

With him, like the others, in the beginning of the summer I thought there was no way he was ready for pre-school in the Fall. Much less ready for Kindergarten the next year. But, he grew over the summer. What is it about the fresh air and sunshine? Not just grew physically (although he is as big as his older brother) but has grown in maturity and attitude.

This boy is ready, and he CAN do it himself.

I Broke The Rules

This summer I broke my own rules.

::We didn't get up at an particular time.
::We weren't dressed by 9 a.m.
::We didn't make our beds daily.
::We didn't clean up the breakfast or lunch dishes right away.
::We maybe kept the t.v. on longer then necessary
(hey, it was a cold miserable summer)
::Lunch and snack time occasionally melded together.
::I did not plan educational outings.
::We did not have scheduled reading times.
::I let my oldest skip a few practices.
::The order in the house was less then perfect
ok, most often the house was a mess!
::The lawn was not mowed every Thursday at 9 am.
::I missed garbage day a few times.
::I still haven't washed the kitchen floor.
::Bath times were a lot more hit or miss.
::Our outings out of the house became fewer and fewer.
::I let the phone go to voice mail and emails go unanswered.

feeling the spray of a waterfall on my face

Although I could keep going, I think you see my point. I let things go, I brushed off responsibilities, you could (almost) say we were lazy. This was done with good intent though.

::First off I needed it. Me, the mom. I have spent 8 years (since our second child was born 3lbs+) going going going. There were days where I didn't even have a chance to sit down, not even to eat (well maybe to go to the bathroom- but then I entertained an audience).

::Secondly, I have a very keen understanding of how fleeting these days are. I am not foolish enough to think that these days will last. I can see it coming. I see it in my oldest already. The days of lazy summers won't last forever.

::Third, we could do it. This summer was the perfect opportunity to "let kids be kids". Our "to do" list was rather small for the first time, and set plans were at a minimum. For the first summer in many summer every weekend wasn't consumed with "have to dos".

So, this summer - we didn't. We didn't do. We didn't stress. We didn't rush. We didn't worry. We let things slide. I have no regret what so ever, and while my socks now stick to the kitchen floor as I walk across it, I know that soon enough (days actually) we will be thrown back into a schedule and we will "have to do" this that and so many other things. Therefore these last few days of summer again are going to be full of nothingness. (Because this too shall pass)

This is a good day

I have in a tin bucket -
new baby carrots
yellow baby potatoes
and the sweetest onions I have ever smelt

I am listening to my wee one #2 and 3 make themselves a salad
with the lettuce they picked themselves. They are excited - pretending they are farmers.

I love gardening. Maybe I should pretend I am a farmer too.

I am about to mix a drink and make supper.
Maybe I should pretend I am a chef.

I have just finished hours of shoveling - filling back in a ditch that provided a spot for the electrical cord to go for my/our new lamp posts that now line the driveway.
Maybe I should pretend I am a handy-man (no need to pretend here)

This is a good day.

This week - Update

This week I will be the traditional mom - the mom I avoid being - the mom whose van is more like a taxi then a mode of transportation - the mom who has to take her kids to activities.

This week we have swimming lessons.







I don't like that this takes up a good part of our day. It wouldn't have to - but I am a slow mover in the mornings. So, by the time we get going and to lessons nothing has really been accomplished in the morning, then off to lessons, then over to the school lunch program (it is free and fabulous!) then home. It is well past noon going onto 1 o'clock by this time. Now, you may know that I typically nap at this point. So, now we are at two in the afternoon.... which really means I only have 1 hour before I have to start supper.

whaaa whaaaa I know. It is only two weeks, I know. But, this is my blog and I will pout if I want to! Maybe it is just the fact that I will have to go in public and act like a real person?

Do you /did you like running your kids around - am I the only evil one?

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Update - we are back and we all actually had a good time. We even had enough energy to make it to the library and sign up for the summer reading program and get a big ole bag of new books to enjoy in the evenings. Then off to record a radio ad and home again.... now- let's see if I can handle 7 more week days of this.

Thank God for Little ............Boys?

I always thought I would be the mom of girls.

I just figured I would have a few little piggy tailed, dress wearing, boy chasing girls when I became a mom.

Baby #1 came out of the belly, with the sex being unknown, there was the momentary lapse in time where you are wondering. Then the announcement came - it's a boy! I thought oh, well.... ok, big brothers (in my mind) are way better then big sisters - so that is good!

Next babe gets thrown out of the cosmos into my stomach (that is how it works right?) and low and behold there is our precious little girl, there she is and how fun an older brother and a younger sister... this will be great we were thinking.

We were good parents - fabulous actually. We were really good at juggling a 20 month old and a 3 month old (well, looking back - duh! almost anyone can learn to juggle two balls if they have to!) We were so good (in our minds) that we decided to have one more, a sister for our girly.

Of course now we all know that it doesn't work that way - in most cases you can not pick your sex (unless you are using a Petri dish) and it did not work this time either. We found out ahead of time via ultrasound that our wee one #3 was to be a boy. We told ourselves this was to prepare the two rugrats at home (but in reality I didn't want any wrong feelings at the announcement of the sex) I still thought I was to be the mom of girls.

Well, story goes that a few years. I find out on the same day that my check book goes all sorts of wrong that I was unexpectedly pregnant AGAIN! (now, stop. I love babe #4 and am so thrilled he is my life, but on that day when I realized I was going to be the mom of 4 kids........ on that day my oldest was barely 4 years old, on that day there was no money, and I was so very tired, on that day.... yeah -that day..... ) On that day I told my self that surely this was the sister we had so badly been wanting. 15 weeks later when we are in the ultrasound room and the tech asks if we thought it was a boy or girl and we both resounded "GIRL" I think she was slightly frightened to tell us we were wrong. She squeaked out a quick - nope*.
Sigh -what?
Really?
Man!

*All I could think was boy, girl, boy, ......and OH boy!

Fast forward - 5 years later we are sitting in the park yesterday, my friend and I. I am zoned out watching the waves roll around the lake when she snaps me from my daze by saying "....this is why I am not the mom of boys, I would go crazy!" Having no clue what she was talking about I said "WHAT?".

"That boy"

"What boy

"The one doing wheelies and stuff (right) in front of us, I couldn't handle that"

"Oh, I didn't even notice", I say

".....and this proves my point." she states matter of factly
'that is why YOU are the mom of boys."

Of course she is right - this mom of three girls. I love my girly I am so very happy that she is in my life. Had I not had a girl I would still think that God was playing a cruel trick on me and mixed up my order. My life is indeed better for having this beautiful, smart, caring, sassy girly girl in my life and I look forward to watching her grown into a lady............ however,

it is the emotional, moody, friend issue, hormonal upheavals, attitude at life-ness that girls possess that I can not handle.

I can handle blood, I can handle physical fights (for now, but the day is going to come that I won't be able to seperate them and they are just going to have to fight it out-soon!) I actually enjoy the wheelie popping, tree climbing, rough housing, truck playing, grass stained, sword fighting, dirt carrying, bug squishy, chaos that is boys. I have never liked mind games - someone remembered this when handing out children ..... I am glad that we don't get all that we think we want!

Reading Does a Brain Good

With it being the last week of school, and the teachers and kids having checked out.
It is field trip and awards week


Today was AR awards - reading awards for the third graders.
I was amazed to find out that my oldest received the highest award in third grade!
He read almost 2 million words, had almost 300 points
and reached the top certificate in his class.
(If you are not familiar with the program -
this is all very impressive for a third grader)
Proud mama!

He told me that he reads so much because it is what he knows.
This makes sense since we have been reading to him since he was a sprout.

That got me thinking - I haven't been reading lately.
The book I had didn't catch my attention and
it hasn't turned hot enough to catch up
with Mma Ramotswe.

If I am to lead the others by example then
it is high time I get reading again.

So, this afternoon, this is me.

Puppy Love

Today was Kindergarten Field Trip day. I made it out to the State Park in time for the nature walk. I have been here a few times already this year and even posted about it here and here.

But today was by far the most fun. It is so neat to see how these wee ones have grown this year. I sent to school a frightened tiny boy and saw a more confident little man today. (that's him in the yellow sweatshirt)
It was also fun to see how the forest floor is waking up. Anyone know what type of flower this is?
Then I got to bring home this little girl for the afternoon. Dolly the beagle came out for the walk and extreme socialization but returned home with me while her owner stayed for the rest of the field trip. Oh puppy love! She is such a good dog and so darn cute! What is it about puppy breath?!
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Don't forget to submit your questions to Ask Jules here - I will be answering on Friday.

Do You Know What I Mean?

Pics of my wee ones taken
4 1/2 years ago by
Photos by Trish

Liss from a Memory Forever has tagged me (way too long ago) and asked what are the 5 things that you love about being a mum. Well honestly I had to stop and think about this. Not because I don't love being a mum and not because I don't appreciate the gifts I have been given. Rather because it is all too easy to get caught up in the "swing of things" lost in the momentum" (If I can double quote?)

You know what I mean? The day to day grind continues and I am a busy mom and I forget. I am however very good at taking snap shots - where I actually stop and tell my brain to take a shot of this and remember, if only for that moment.
However, those are little moments - not the big picture of it all.

So, I will make #1 - the little moments- the ones that make you stop and laugh or cry or stare in wonderment. The moments where what they say, do, think, etc make you laugh out loud. The ones that make you realize you have done something right, or that they have their own personality, or how much their physical and mental capabilities have changed. Those fleeting almost- missed them- moments.....

Now here's the deal.
This whole mothering thing is not what I expected. I don't mean - the work, the emotion involved, the extreme loss of self, or the grind of it all. I mean - I didn't think I would have kids on my own.
Let me explain:
I was told when I was 19 that unless I got pregnant right then I would most likely not have a child later. In fact I remember it as clear as if it was yesterday. A very young (dark haired attractive) doctor type asks me point blank if I had a boyfriend (I was wondering if he was flirting? that was a strange question) I told him that no, he had just broke up with me over the whole medical issue thing- I had just undergone extensive laporoscopic surgery for endometiosis
ok, he ventured on, how about a really good male friend? When asked where he was going with this he told me that with extreme cases like mine and given my young age the chance of me to have a baby much less more then one did not look very good, in fact it probably would not be possibility.

So, I will there fore make #2 - the fact that I had children at all. Don't get me wrong - I truly believe families can come in many different forms. I had it in my mind that we would adopt and preferably from an Asian country - probably a girl or two. But, the fact that knowing I couldn't have children and then defying the odds - makes it worthy of #2 reason I love being a mum

Now, as the daily grind goes on it is easy to get lost in it. All the time things take. Just the daily care of clothes, food, and the house... you all know... I already said that I do appreciate the little things however fleeting moments do not make up for the hours, weeks, and months which does little to sustain my outlook... so what else is there? I closed my eyes. I ran through the day. I saw it - when I thought about homework (uggg, trust me kids this hurts me as much as it hurts you ;) It struck what the next one should be

#3 - Learning/Relearning with my children. From the "new" math that my smart little son is learning (in his accelerated math class - glad someone received the math gene from their dad) to life cycle of monarch butterflies. As a child and young adult we do not appreciate the education and lessons we are learning. I guess it is part survival, part youthfulness. But, now that I am older - I am interested in a different way. I have the capabilities to understand the "why?" better I suppose. Plus, their excitement, wonder, and enthusiasm can at times be contagious.

As I continue on I am finding that making this list is harder and harder. Because on an average day I don't feel like I am a good mom. I even go through periods when I run through my head worse moms trying to make myself feel better - the crack moms who pass out for days leaving their babies on their own, the alcoholic, abusive, or negligent folks out there - but those are extremes and it is not comparing apples to apples. How does one be a mom and a person at the same time. How do you not forget yourself while you help your kids figure out who they are. It is incredibly hard to become that selfless and not forget who you are. However, once in awhile there is a glimpse, a notion where I can see what I am doing might be working.

#4 is then - seeing my children become the people I want them to be.
Dearest and I do not often let our guard down when it comes to parenting. For one simple reason - we want to have fabulous adults. They are not going to stay kids forever, and we try to enjoy what we can of their childhood - but in the long run these guys need to be functioning adults. There are some things, moral, standards, call it what you want that are very important to us. When I see a glimpse of success it makes it all worth it.

Ok, I am an example (and visual) person - so let me give you an example. I get up 10 minutes after my two oldest children (per their request) they set their own alarm clocks (we are talking about a second and third grader) get themselves up and get their breakfasts started. I then get up and wake our kindergartner and help them all get out the door. As I came out this morning it made me smile to see my kids sitting at the table eating their bagels and "chatting" with each other - fabulous! patpat mom...good job, you learned them well!

Now, I might be putting too much thought and effort into this thing. Plus, lists are really dearest's thing (I think I have mentioned this before here long before most of you were here) But, I am pretty hard on myself. Plus, I rely on validation too much at times and really, there isn't a lot of immediate validation in parenting. Saying this sparked


#5 - Having adults compliment my children in public. (This probably goes along with #4, but I just stated that I rely on validation too much) We have spoken to our children in a manner that would allow them to converse with adults. We have taken all four of our children places and tried to teach them how to behave in public. I do not let my children run around crazy and act all a fool in public. I do not feel it is necessary. They may have fun and they may enjoy the moment - but you can't tell me that as an adult it doesn't bother you to have four or more kids running up and down the bleachers at a basketball game a dozen times, or that you want kids bouncing around and kicking the back of your seat at the movie theater. So, it is very rewarding to hear adults appreciate this and have them say so. I also think this is important for the kids to realize why we are being so "mean".

Wow! I did it. I listed 5. Anyone that wants to undergo this challenge/tag I encourage you to do so. It was helpful in appreciating what I have. It helped me to see the good along with the mundane. Thank you Liss, and thank you bloggy friends if you are still reading this - for reading all the way to the end! This was a long one.

Something to Ponder

If I screw up raising my kids
Nothing else I accomplish
Matters much

from Cheaper by the Dozen

Why I love my job

Good Morning!


In the depth of the Minnesota winter it is very easy to be overtaken by the winter blues. Realistically, it is easy to fall into a deep dark despair/depression.

This depression has a name - S.A.D. Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is a true blue (get the pun?) studied disorder backed by science. See, we lack enough sunlight to fill the bodies' need of Vitamin D. Plus it is too cold to be outside for long amounts of time. This limits our amount of fresh air and exercise, and really, the amount of things available to do are also limited by both the snow and cold. (We couldn't go outside yesterday because it didn't get above +5 degrees)

Being an incredibly social person and a stay at home mom on a limited budget only adds to problem. I am around people under 4 feet tall who have a limited vocabulary. My outings typically include preschool and the grocery. Not the ideal situation for my personality type.

To battle these feelings I am going to post something fabulously positive and sunny (literally)

Why I love my job (today):

My "office" has a great view
Our morning "meeting" is usually very low key.
The level of creativity my employees show is astounding! "It's a wobot"
I have worked in a variety of job environments - including (but not limited to) a bank, gas company office, flower shops, greenhouses, dance line coach, nanny, hostessing/serving and bar tending, teaching elementary school, cheer leading coach, and insurance sales. But, this job has been the most challenging, tiresome, and frustrating. But at the same time, it has been the job with the most long term rewards.

Plus, slippers are accepted footwear!

Dance of Joy

I am so excited.
I got to go rock climbing on Wednesday night.
Well, on a rock wall... best I can do this time of year. "Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile initially scared me to death."Anonymous

In fact, I am so excited I will do the Dance of Joy -( from Perfect Strangers.... circa early 90's)

O.K., well, back to where we were....
Dearest and I took wee one #3 to the college rec center
for a little one on one time.
If you want to turn heads at a college
strap a 6 year old to a rock wall
and say "go ahead buddy!" and go he did...

It took a little encouraging from mom and dad (and a well timed tow or two on the rope) for him to get as high as he wanted to."Art flourishes when there is a sense of adventure" Alfred North Whitehead

One of our goals is to instill a sense of adventure into our children...


Because some day I would like to take them here.


So we can do this kind of thing...
Yes, really!


Final quote -

"Rocks make no compromise for sex... rock climbing is not like some sports, where it is made easier for women; or sports like, say, softball, which is only baseball for soft people. On a rock, everything is equal."

In search of an instruction manual

Being pecked to death by ducks
Now, if you only have one child, and that child is under the age of 30 months of age, and they are still sweet smelling, cute, cuddly and think you are the moon and stars this post is not for you. Just move on, enjoy your sweet child and ignore what I am about to say. But, if you have more then one child, preferably more then two children and if they are of the age where they can reason and argue and make your life generally exhausting then read on my dear friend....

I have decided it is not the huge decisions in parenting that tire me out. You know, like should they go to kindergarten this year or next. (this year) Should we have them do chores or not. (Definetly) Should they be allowed to own a video game (no way) They want to quit, can they? (they finish what they start) Do we buy them a car, or do they have to get their own? (Their own) ... these have been the easy decisions to make. It is the endless tiny seemingly inconsequential decisions that are slowly killing me, or, at least prematurely aging me! Because each of these little decisions are NOT inconsequential!!! With each little fight, battle, or "issue" you are setting a precedent; you are setting a standard for how your child will act about something the next time this or another issue comes up.

Example - if I am too tired to address the fact that supper is not getting eaten (after all the time it took to cook it) however before the dishes are even cleaned the snacking has begun - in a weeks time I will have a real struggle on my hands. Or if today I don't confront the child that is speaking rudely to me today in a few years time I have absolutely no control. Allowing small things to pass is really opening the door for really bad behavior later. Do I send them to school when they say they aren't feeling all that good -- They are tired, once they get there they will probably be fine... or not?... (they weren't ok I got a call from the school nurse before 8 am)

Yet, it is the bombardment of these issues that can slowly beat you down as a parent. I have it coming from 4 ways... it is like juggling 4 knives and a bowling ball, a slip of one and boy, what a mess!

Today, I had 30 seconds to make a decision about our wee one in a stressful situation. SO, I considered his personality and how it would effect the flow of the routine tomorrow. I considered how he had been behaving so far this morning, and the physical capabilities of his body to do what I was asking him to do. I was alone and had to consider how this decision would effect me and our wee one who was still at home. In the end I threw my kindergartner on the bus crying (running out to the waiting bus with him in my pajamas and slippers (without soles) hair looking much like a mad woman's) he cried on the bus, I cried on the way into the house.

For my own survival and humor I looked for an instruction manual online. I didn't find one. (surprise) Actually I saw what one Dr. called an instruction manual for kids, but it couldn't be because it was too small! I decided that they could never sell a proper manual to the general public because that book would have to be so large and so all inclusive that you couldn't print it all, lift it, or afford it, plus where would you store it?

In the end I got a call from the school nurse and had to go in anyway. By the time it was all done I was drained; emotionally exhausted! It is not the big decisions, but, rather the seemingly inconsequential decisions that in the end really do matter. These are our responsibilities and if we waver on these decisions, the ones that exhaust us now, we will be in a heap of trouble later. Eventually there are vehicles, boys, grades, and illegal substances to worry about. We are building a foundation and anyone who has done construction knows that dirt work is not easy....

For My Own Sanity

For my own sanity I thought I would post these great parenting instructions I found online. I guess if you need to print these off for reminders, you may want to just use b. control for awhile longer! Love the calming baby and bonding with baby reminders! Enjoy a laugh with me!