Tuesday, February 2, 2010

What I Really Meant To Say - A Guest Rants

My friend Amy owns a gym. From time to time she needs a release -a place to rant. She has found her sounding board here. She has entertained us with the antics of her gym several times.
We learned about oompa loompas and lizard people here.
How hard it can be to put up with the women who work out here.
How idiotic her employees are here.

But today her post on the "Maniac" will be perfect for

Before you start reading - go to the bottom of this post and push Play on the YouTube video... a little background inspirational music - to get you in the mood.... ok, got it going?... now read!!!

So.... without further ado -

To the "Maniac": Here are the things I have really been meaning to say
(I have dubbed her this because she dresses like she stepped out of the Flashdance Movie)

When you complain at least once weekly about how you don't think my morning employee set the resistance dials on the machines correctly, and ask me to get down on my hands and knees to check ALL of them, and like always when they are set properly, with a smile I say "Oh 'Maniac' you're just getting stronger and all the machines are getting easier for you." What I Meant To Say Was "You are the biggest pain in the ass I have ever met and we both know that these machines were set correctly, and no matter how much you wish it even if they weren't it is not going to get you a discount or refund on the already dirt cheap membership dues you have already paid.

When you are breezing by me out the front doors and I smile and say "Have a great day!" What I Meant To Say Is "Why don't you turn your sorry ass around and march it back into the locker room and clean up the freaking pig sty mess we both know you just left. You are a grown ass woman and should know better than to leave used kleenex, spilled makeup and tipped over bottles on the counter. If you had taken two more steps you could have thrown your used towel in the laundry hamper instead of on the floor. And if I ever have to pick up your dirty underwear that you have left on the ground again I may have to hurt you."

When you use our complimentary fitness towels that are meant to wipe the sweat off your brow to instead wipe the sweat out of your butt crack or blow your nose into, when I look at you I say nothing - What I Meant To Say Is "Get the Hell out of here and DO NOT ever come back."

Maybe one day I'll snap and say all those things.

I just have to use these two pictures again:

Click pic for a more realistic take
(warning, they use the *f word)


Chief said...

Oh my gosh I threw up in my mouth!

the wipe the ass crack and then blow the nose thing have altered me for life.

I love the guest post for WIMTS!

*going to take a shower*

Adan said...

what you should have done is told everyone to hit play first.

it's just too funny reading this with that song playing in the background.

~DokterKenny said...

You know from my blog I spend quite a lot of time in gyms. People are friggin gross and uncivilized for the most part. I can so relate to this post.

Will Burke said...

Working with the public can give you a pretty grim view of humanity. I try to dwell on the civil majority. It often doesn't work.

Emmy said...

She seriously blew her nose into it? Oh nasty!

Thanks for coming by my blog today.

Chief said...

you screwed up the link on your mister linky

so sad, no one could find you!

I fixed it late cuz Im a little bhind on my maintenance

ex oh ex oh

Allyson said...

I saw this in my Google Reader and, having been on staff at a gym, a fitness director, and the GM of a gym, I would just like to say AMEN, SISTER. People think working in/owning a gym is all picnics and unicorns. There is really nothing worse than cleaning women's hair out of the sinks and cleaning the toilets in men's locker rooms. And it is BEYOND me why people do what they do to gym towels. BLEH! I was nodding in vehement agreement throughout the whole thing.

Unknown said...

OMG I woudl so make her do laundry and give her a refund of her remaining dues rather then subject my employess to her stupidity and apparent sense of entitlement..

BNM said...

Ummm GAG!! eww she would have to be taught proper gym etiquette.. and then act like it was given to everyone! haha!! thats gross.. and I am forger bringing my own damn towel to the gym for now on!!!