I have been sick for four days now – yes four. We are talking fever, aches, upset stomach, dizzy and worst of all a sore throat. Finally deciding it was not going to go away I decided to make a “quick” visit to the Urgent Care Clinic this morning before work. Now I use “” around quick because you would have to be certifiably looney in the toons to think that on Monday anything about Urgent Care would be quick.
I drove into the parking lot 10 minutes before the clinic opened, thinking this would be suitable enough to get me out in plenty of time to make it to work. As I sat in my car I started getting that panic feeling in my gut – you know the one you get when you are about to get out of your car early Friday morning for the after Thanksgiving Black Friday sale? My eyes are darting back and forth between the clock, the parked cars and the ones rolling in – one hand is at the ready on the door handle. Finally with 5 minutes left till go time, someone makes a move. It was like a chain reaction of panic with doors flying open and people do that stupid run/walk (you know what I am talking about – that cross between a run and walk that people use when they are mid street and the little red hand comes up telling you it is NOT safe to cross the street, and you don’t want to look like a fool running, but you know time is running out so you do the run/walk – lets just call it a rulk). Anyway people are rulking up to the door, and of course even though there is a clear line formed at the door, people decide they are going to stand off to the side of the line and just cut it. So finally the doors open and we all rush forward like the walking dead towards the reception desk.
I get my place in the line up and go sit down to start the waiting (and watching) game. So all of these people are lined up at one reception desk waiting like cattle, when low and behold a receptionist at the other end of the building calls “I can help someone down here.” So this Dad takes his little boys hand and starts to walk over, when this older lady tries to do some type of football maneuver around them to get there first – tripping the poor kid in the process. Then of course I end up between the fighting couple and the woman with volume control syndrome who is having a very personal conversation on her cell phone. What else could I do but sit and pray for it all to be over soon. Thankfully, as I was visualizing grabbing the phone and walking over to the front doors to chuck it outside, I get called back. You would think my story would end here….
Unfortunately no. So I get checked out by the doctor and find out that aside from the nasal congestion/flu crud that has been making the rounds, I have strep – my third case in the last two months. I get the great news that she is going to have the nurse come in and give me a shot of antibiotics, no messing around with pills this time. Well, aside from the fact that I really hate shots, I could not come up with a good enough excuse to convince her otherwise – plus I can’t swallow pills anyway. The nurse comes in and I start to roll up my sleeve, only to be informed that this shot doesn’t go in your arm – it goes in your thigh. Well great! She asks me to pull down my pants and sit on the table. At this point I get the a case of the giggles as I explain to her that with being sick all weekend I didn’t really get a chance to do laundry so ummmmm I’m not wearing any underwear. And that is how I started my morning.