Saturday, December 26, 2009

Are you guilty of misjudging others?

I just got a comment that made me step back for a minute.
It came in about this post here

The comment from Anon. reads:

Thanks for this blog. Ms. Dolphay (Ms. only because she was divorced) was also my teacher, many years after she retired. She was my grandmother and taught me many things; Greek and Norse mythology and the 8 parts of speech which I can still recite by heart. I thank you for your view and being able to peek in a window on her that a 10 year old never never could have seen. I also must agree that it is those who make you work the hardest and challenge yourself that you really appreciate.

(note: I put grandmother in bold myself to aid those of you skimming)

Wow, wow, wow....

First - thank you for the comment anon.
Secondly - if you remember reading the post you might know why I cringed at first. Here was a grandchild (of this teacher that I posted about) reading my post. If you don't recall the post- you may want to go back and read it... I mentioned some unfavorable memories about this person's relative. Yes, in the end I said she really did stand out as my favorite teacher, but it was only after I said things like she resembled a troll.

I was a bit flustered and embarrased really. But, then I stopped, thought, and felt better. I was NOT saying this woman WAS a troll, or any of the other things I mentioned. I said as a Jr. Higher I THOUGHT or HEARD these things. Obviously my commentor was able to make it through the post and get my true meaning. For that I am thankful.

But interesting isn't it. The ideas or the rumors we hear about a person initially - the ones that create our thoughts on that person don't always stand up in the end. First impressions are strong, where we are at in life matters (jr. high, middle of a divorce, not yet married, poor, or rich) it matters in how we see others. Yet, it is only wrong if in the end you stick to that perception. If you start seeing through those first impressions and mis-judgings yet you continue to hold the wrong opinion on others- that is when you are wrong.

Keep an open mind, take an interest in those who are not like you or your current group of friends, step outside your comfort zone, be curious. These are the only way we won't miss out on what others have to offer us.

And yes, even teachers that we think of as "the worst" may eventually be the one you find thinking of the best. Or your best friend may end up being the girl with the dyed black hair and lip ring.

Who have you misjudged?

p.s. (thank goodness blogs don't get graded. Ms. Dolphay would be shaking her head and clicking her tongue at me as she marked up this page in bright red :)


Anonymous said...

Hi Jules, my first visit. I like your question of who have we misjudged? very interesting. I decided to follow your blog, I like it.

Thanks for visiting Secret Story Time too!

Gaia said...

it's fortunate that the granddaughter did not take it to heart. Sometimes things said have no ill intent, simply feelings at that stage of life. I tend not to make judgements, I will rant though. But if things happen time and time again, perhaps what was felt was not wrong. Bless you dear.

Sandra said...

And so it is a small world. I've misjudged a few people and situations in my time. Probably been misjudged as well. What you wrote were pubescent memories of a memorable person. I only remember two of my teachers names. You remembered hers. I think this a good thing.

Vodka Logic said...

I have totally misjudged people before and I know I have been misjudged as well..

A good lesson to take to heart Jules..

And what a small small world that she read it. Nice she understood what you were trying to say, proving her grandmother was a good teacher,

Deb said...

The longer I'm here on this planet the more I see the truth in our being interconnected..This realization changes a lot of things.

Memories Of Mine said...

Society has taught us to judge people on:
how they look
how they dress
their employment /money they make
their education
where they live
material status
religion etc....

All of which have little to do with a persons personality.

So I try to only judge people on the content of what they say and how they act.

I always try to give people a far go before I decide they are not my cup of tea. It's ok if I decided don't like someone as long as I have valid reason.

I think both you and the granddaughter have gained a little more insight to the teacher's life.

Mari Mansourian said...

oh boy huh?... unfortunately people do spread rumors, but you are right so many times i've met someone that i didn't think i would like because of how people described them..but actually ended up really liking that person. i've learned to not listen to peoples opinions and "see" things for myself. great post :)

~DokterKenny said...

Jules this reminds me of a story of a woman I cam across in the gym that would be ugly or weird by anyone's standards. I finally spoke to her and got to know her a little bit instead of judging her. Turned out she was quite the Special Olympian!~ you just never know until we drop these filters and societal goggles and walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

Unknown said...

I REALLY try hard not to judge others, even my childrens' friends, because I do not want to be judged. I'm not so sure I make a great first impression. I am kinda sarcastic you know...I do believe everyone has some good qualities in them!