Wednesday, December 2, 2009

You are Ego-Centric (so am I) We all are

Eleanor Roosevelt
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."
Eleanor Roosevelt


People get wrapped in their own issues and thoughts. We are an ego-centric being. We think about ourselves and think others should be thinking of us too. When they don't we are confused, amazed, and a bit peeved (maybe). When you talk to someone in passing and they forgot to ask you about a major event in your life, or they seem quick/cold/uncaring your first thought is how rude of them. ("don't they care about ME?")

When they seem unconcerned with our issues there is a chance we will get offended. When they don't send your favorite Christmas present after we so deliberately and painstakingly shopped/wrapped/and sent them theirs in November to be sure it made it ahead of time - we are agasp at their gull.

But, don't act so quickly - ego-centric one. Slow down, and consider the other person for once. You may never know what is on their mind - they may never share. But, your first assumption should not be that they are mad at you, are rude, or just plain selfish. They have their own things, we all do. We all fight our demons, we all are effected differently on different days. The issues could be many - bills, relationships, health, money and the lack of, emotional issues, hormones, the spin of the Earth, the wrong side of the bed, their child or other family member or the lack of, their car, or their pet, the housework, the color of the sky, their low gas tank, etc.... I bet some of the time they probably can't even explain why they feel like they do - much less explain it to someone else.

Yes, they should have asked you about your move, or new house, or sick child. Yes they should have called or sent that Christmas present on time. But, you and I and them have other things in our lives..... it isn't always about you and your thing. Really, the fact that we don't think about others and what could be going on with THEM just shows how ego-centric we really are. (I say 'we' because I do it too) All we think is - What about ME?

Maybe just maybe it is about them.



Amy said...

I am guessing there are a lot of people who will latch on to this as a great excuse to keep being self centered. It is valid in some cases - there are always people that have real things/problems/issues going on. But in many cases there are people that are just plain self centered....I see many of them around 2:50 each day.

Just Jules said...

Oh gah! yeah. that wasn't my purpose. hadn't thought about that. No using this as an excuse to be selfish people - just pointing out that you should get your undies in a bunch if someone seems short/huffy/caught up when they are talking or not talking to you. Rather, look deeper...

Just Jules said...

hahahah!!!! I said *should * get your undies! Proofread Jules...

SHOULD NOT get your undies in a bunch - should not... geez

off to find some coffee

math guy, dock guy said...

Growing up I thought everyone had an opinion of what I did, what I looked like, and about basically anything happening in my life. I was a very shy child because of it and was that way through high school. Often I became embarrassed and refused to go or do things. This problem caused me a lot of unneeded stress. Fortunately in college I became more confident and less shy. I am sure I was still ego-centric but started to not care as much about what people thought.
Thankfully I am much better about it and that part of my life is much less stressful. Now just to teach my children to not worry about what other people think so they don't go through what I did.

Deb said...

You're talking about me again aren't you? Can I help it that everyone wants to know about my life all the time? It happens when you are as wildly exciting as I am. So I try, really try to remember to ask others (including you) how they are doing...but it's difficult when you're just so...fabulous! Next time, just email me personally, you don't have to write a special blog to dress me down. Ha!

Adaptable Kay said...

Very well written! Honestly, I do have my 'me me me' moments, but mostly I stop and give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Mostly, I put myself in their shoes and try and understand that's going on in their lives.
But I'm only human.